Castle didn't say No. He pretended to be on board with her plan, even saying he was going for the oysters or whatever. If a woman pretended she liked the romp when she didn't, and didn't, then she'd be sending out the wrong message, just like Castle. This woman was supposed to be so sexy, that no man could resist. It was an over the top scenario. If Castle had been making it clear he was not interested, and she still kept on, I'd see your point. But even so, can you imagine she would be able to force sex on him? (Inside) -- Always Castle

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Date Posted: 22:22:46 10/04/12 Thu
Author: Cece
Subject: Castle didn't say No. He pretended to be on board with her plan, even saying he was going for the oysters or whatever. If a woman pretended she liked the romp when she didn't, and didn't, then she'd be sending out the wrong message, just like Castle. This woman was supposed to be so sexy, that no man could resist. It was an over the top scenario. If Castle had been making it clear he was not interested, and she still kept on, I'd see your point. But even so, can you imagine she would be able to force sex on him? (Inside)
In reply to: Nic/Colie 's message, "I think it trivializes it if we don't acknowledge that this sort of behavior is at the very least assaultish toward a man. Yes, it was played for laughs; that doesn't mean I don't find the idea of it cringeworthy. He accepted a date on live TV, he let her in - all he did afterward was basically damage control. Yes, he could've gotten her off him - but no matter how he did it, she could've easily turned it, accused him of untoward behavior and *nobody* would've believed him - and he would *know* that - and that's the double standard. Plus of course that, had it been a woman in his situation, it never would've been played for laughs in the first place." on 15:18:57 10/04/12 Thu

I take date rape, spousal abuse, and assault of any kind seriously. It isn't a joke. Castle is absolutely capable of putting a stop to anything he didn't want, and the woman just thought she was all that. They didn't show her as a sexual predator. More like an oversexed nutbar who thought she was irresistable. Castle has to take some responsibility because he certainly was not a victim.

I watch Coronation Street, and one of the current stories is about a young guy whose pregnant girlfriend, an ex-cop, has been physically abusive to him. The story arc is a very serious one, and no one believes this lovely young woman, now a mother, is a dangerous abuser. The guy loves her, like most abused women love their abusers. She is also horribly controlling and has isolated him from his friend. This is typical behaviour. The story is not played out yet so I don't know what will happen.

She has actually beaten him and injured him quite badly, and he is scared of her. But still he thinks that she won't do it again. Exactly the same scenario that most abused spoused go through, (I have done an extensive study on spousal abuse, btw.) The real issue in domestic assaults is power inbalance, where one person has the ability and perceived status to bully another, and the other person is powerless to stop it, either physically or psychologically. It's never just a clear case of gender double standard, regardless of who is the offender and who is the abused. I think that in the past that was very often the case. But again, in the past, domestic abuse and/or date rape were rarely, if ever, prosecuted at all.

What doesn't help is when well meaning people take daft sexual romps as abusive. Sexuality and sexual play is normal for any couple...man/woman, woman/woman, man/man. If one person wants out, the other should stop. There was no power inbalance here. Castle had many oportunities to say, shout, yell, use a megaphone, text, fax, or email, "I am not interested. I have a girlfriend." Even on live tv, he could have said sweetly, "Wow, what an offer! But you know, my girlfriend might object." A laugh, and it's all over.

But that was the point. He, like all the other men before him, supposedly, couldn't resist her charms....gag...., which gave them the clue that the murderer was gay. Silly? Of course. That is the whole nature of this wonderfully silly show.

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