| Subject: Testimony |
Author:
Ann's
|
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 05:40:30 02/01/03 Sat
I was brought up in a 'Christian' household, in a Presbyterian Church, and my
father who was born a catholic was now an elder in the church. My mother was
a stern disciplinarian and my father was dare I say it 'under the thumb'
I was adopted and my younger adopted brother and I were ruled by the rod and
attended church several times on a Sunday and during the week.
It struck me later in life that I never heard a prayer said or a bible read
in my home when I was young. Good attendance and winning bibles for that was
what seemed to matter.
Anyway what was more alarming was the abuse that went on behind closed doors,
physical and mental cruelty. If you did wrong you were beaten and my little
brother took many of those being of a stubborn nature. I look on in tears and
fear and screamed for it to stop.
My weakness was 'food' - I hated it and sometimes remained sitting at the
dinner table over a half eaten dinner for hours and if I still didn't eat it
would be presented to me again in the morning and again that next evening. I
would get nothing else. I blame this now for my weight problem, because when
there was no pressure on me to eat when I had my own home, I subconsciously
ate all the time.
Giving that background I really didn't like the church and didn't think that
much about God except I knew He was my friend in the dark days of beatings,
especially when it was my turn, which thankfully wasn't too often but often
enough!!
When I was around 17 and still very 'tied ' to the church the youth
fellowship all started to 'pair ' and I literally threw myself on a young man
in order to be the same as the rest. My mother and father quickly approved
and pushed him into an engagement only a year later as he came from the right
background.
However from that time between 18 & 19 I began to assert myself and went my
own way behind everyone's back and met a man of my own choosing who I feel
deeply in love with. He soon realized the situation for me at home and
suggested only after a matter of a couple of months, that we marry.
I agreed. Of course all hell broke loose and we ended up eloping.
Basically God was forgotten as was church and I had 2 boys in the next few
years and my life seemed content, but my eyes were blinded. I was willing to
let this man away with anything, adultery, lies, deceit, the lot, in the
pursuit of happiness and to prove I had done the right thing.
We moved all over the globe. He had a glamorous job as a footballer which
made his ego even bigger.
Eventually when I was 34 years old, and still living in what had been now for
quite a number of years, a pathetic excuse for a marriage, I turned to the
church.
A little Baptist church near where I was staying.
The people made me so welcome and when I was singing their bright happy hymns
and chorus and listening to the word, it wasn't long before I knew God was
talking to me - yes ME!!
I recommitted my life to Jesus, oh yes I had done it sometime before, but
really I hadn't a clue what I was doing, so this time I knew, God loved me.
No-one else really had. He chose me and I wanted to be His child.
So one Sunday in 1984 I went down on my knees and asked God to forgive me my
sins, wash them away, and come into my heart forever and be with me. I was a
new person, born again!!
This was so genuine, and I could have faced Goliath, no trouble. I told my
husband and my family and they all accepted it and didn't even question it
either.
Not long after though, things started to go wrong, I had to have a
hysterectomy and was put on HRT tablets for the after effects of an early
menopause. About 18 months later I woke up one morning to find I was
paralyzed down my right side, no speech and a pounding headache. I was rushed
to hospital, with a stroke. A cerebral vascular accident. This was serious. I
could die.
Well, I didn't but I was in hospital a long, long time many months in fact
and when eventually I came home I had to retrain myself in living again. I
had been away from the church and quite frankly was angry with God anyway.
Why did He let this happen to me? My husband decided this life wasn't for him
and he left after another adulterous affair.
I left the church, I was disgusted. We got back together again, my husband
and I and lived another year or so in the one house, but were never husband
and wife again.
Eventually we parted for good in 1990
I moved to Glasgow where I was now working although my health had improved as
far as the stroke went I never really was well again either.
A short while later I moved to Renfrew and now 11 years later at the ripe old
age of 50 my life is totally for the Lord - AT LAST!!! I came back from my
backsliding ways and joined a lovely Baptist church. I had already been
baptized way back in the eighties but although that was real then and I was
always a Christian, now I am living the life of one, doing my best to serve
my Father, love and praise Him and tell others about Him.
All things were in Gods plan. I have two beautiful boys from my marriage, one
who is married and I am very proud of them both. God brought me to a position
in my life and through my pain of illness, (I have now been diagnosed as
having lupus), I was brought to a place of closeness and love with Him which
I wouldn't trade good health for ever.
I don't mean I would like to be well and working again, but if where I am now
is because of what I have been through in my life then I don't want a trade.
God has been so good to me, although I couldn't see that at the time
I am now like Saul on the Damascus Road, and I see the Light!
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
| |
Feedback: 