<b><i>What do I do to ignore them behind me?</b></i> -- Hatching Sands

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Date Posted: 16:04:58 04/30/05 Sat
Author: True (Spirit, Reign)
Subject: What do I do to ignore them behind me?

((Ack... I've had writer's block! But, now I'm back!))

Do I follow my instincts blindly?

True shifted her feat again as she watched the newly hatched walk away with their Impressed. Great. She thought bitterly. The sands are hot, my feet hurt, my head hurts... and no dragon will Impress me. None have even bothered to look in my direction. She sighed. Technically, she shouldn�t be blaming the dragons for something that was probably her own fault�since when did a dragon choose to leave a candidate in the dust because they felt like it? Never, that�s when...

True sighed again as her wide-eyed emerald gaze searched the grounds. The boy she�d seen at the beach had impressed the first blue what seemed like so long ago, and she knew no one else here. These children were so young... how did they expect to become a full-fledged rider when she didn�t expect someone her age could? Well, everyone�s opinion was different, that was certain. True herself didn�t expect to Impress at all, let alone become a thread-fighting rider one day. Or�did she dare think it? �a Junior Weyrwoman.

She shook her head rapidly, sending a shower of black silk in every direction. What made her think that? Deep inside, True had the secret desire of every girl, to impress the golden egg that would make her Junior Weyrwoman of New Isle Weyr. However, as True had always seen disappointment in life, she�d learned to always try�otherwise others called you scardy-wherrie�and don�t expect to get anything out of it. That was just common sense. If you expect something, it�ll be so much harder when it doesn�t happen.

However, True didn�t want to think that. She wanted desperately to find the hope that a dragon, be it emerald, sapphire, or the blessing, would choose her, and would make someone out of her one day. She still felt the foolish sense of anticipation�many small eggs hadn�t hatched, and the gold was free! �that she�d so often wished the other girls (and boys, truly) would stop showing so animatedly on their faces. Didn�t they realize they would probably be left here on the sands when the last shard fell from the last egg? Didn�t she? True sighed, and looked out to the eggs.

Do I hide my pride from these sad dreams,

If one of you is out there, and can hear, me... please help.

True felt a burning sensation as her face turned a dull scarlet. A stupid girl, that�s what she was! What was she thinking, trying to call out to the eggs? It�s not like they could hear her... was it? And, if they did, what sharding dragon would listen to a cry from a pitiful dimglow like her? So, True was a great sap, just like the other girls she hated so much...

True shifted her feet nervously. Before she�d been in a bad mood after they�d restricted so much, like the clothing and weapons� policy. Now, she was shimmering down, and was startled to find herself fearful.
Great... This is just too weird. Why do I feel so much anticipation?

True swallowed some bile that had built up in her throat, and watched as grains of sand splattered in every direction, both from rocking eggs and baby dragons. Her heart leapt slightly�what if she was to be mauled, like those other girls? True had a high threshold for pain, but along with the humming and the heat, her head felt ready to burst. Add to that deep wounds from a dragonling, and...

True shook herself again. She just had to remain calm. If she did that, she�d be all right... right?

And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?

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