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Jillian2005 (helpful)
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Date Posted: 14:49:41 12/14/22 Wed
For the women: Jill’s professional fashion tips!
So I’ve noticed that one of the perennial fights between older and younger, which sometimes even ends up with punishment, is about apparel. Now no one likes being told how to dress, but given that in each social context we find ourselves there are unspoken rules about appearance and presentation of self, I thought I’d compile a list of basic fashion do’s and don’ts for both moms and daughters to continue to help ease familial conflicts. My much smaller replies to both Megan and Kelsey gave me the idea that I should post a general message on this sometimes tense topic which, along with issues such as curfews and school stuff, seems to come up regularly.
But it’s important to note that for us women, there remains a double standard out there that favors men. While women have far more choice in what is actually available TO wear, men have more latitude in HOW they present themselves; I’ve never yet seen a spanking post about boy’s clothing or lack thereof, for instance. So up front we need to stay practical and not ideological about dressing, so that young women don’t feel that they are starting to live in a ‘Gilead’, however subtle. That said, there’s also no reason that we should have to put ourselves out ‘for ransom’, as the old expression has it, just because the guys often want to see us as close to naked as possible!
So I’ll begin with a list of ‘no’ and ‘yes’ regarding basic clothing essentials and the reasons why or why not you should fly from, or flock to, them.
No: ‘panties’: this term is casually used to designate basically anything that covers your intimate assets south of the border, but like ‘classical’ music, it in fact only refers to a small subset of such articles: the matching items to either vintage peignoir like nighties and baby-dolls, or contemporary lingerie such as chemises or basques. In general, panties should be saved for the boudoir if you wear them at all. They have no place in daywear or as underwear in general. The usual satin-nylon blend doesn’t breathe and it shows through almost anything, sometimes even denim. They’re meant to compliment a matching top piece and to slip off easily for sex. Wearing them as regular briefs will make you resent having to wear any underwear at all.
Yes: briefs: Choose either a vast majority nylon mix or microfiber, NOT cotton alone. Cotton briefs do not wick well and they don’t move with you. Their sizing is often off so you’re either wandering around with them slipping off your hips or you’re cutting circulation off to your upper legs. The best briefs on the market for the price are Reebok’s bikinis at Wal-Mart, of all places, either 4 or 5 to a pack. I’ve detailed their excellence in a reply to Megan. If you want to spend more, always look for the bikini cut which has full coverage and feels like you’re wearing nothing if the blend and weave is just right, as it is in the Reebok; 91% nylon, 9% cotton. Sizing is most forgiving and my mom brags about it since I convinced her to wear them as well. They are the only full brief I wear, in fact.
Yes: thongs: In spite of their seemingly bawdy quality, the thong is simply a practical utility item that much outerwear requires, including anything athletic, from equestrian to ballet to gymnastics to running and sports leggings etc., not to mention dress slacks, nylons and tights, and even shape-wear, but more on that in a second. Avoid lacy nothings – once again, like ‘panties’, these belong only in the bedroom – and always look, once again, for the microfiber blend or the majority nylon blend, otherwise discomfort will inevitably result, including for your sex and ‘crack’, excuse the term. The thong is here to stay but treat it for what it is, moms, just a health-related article that saves on laundry and makes much more expensive clothing items last far longer. And somewhat perversely, the thong makes it easier to give a couple of swats to your little kids’ butts on occasion, clothed or no! (Oops, forget I said that!).
No: underwire bras: If you’re a masochist, be my guest, but otherwise, look for athletic style support. Underwires inevitably poke through their coverings, making the item unwearable. Even with hand-washing and drying this will occur in time. There are plenty of better designs to support any load you may bear up front, as it were. My bra of choice is the Delimira wireless; they are expensive but sometimes can be found in thrift stores as most people don’t know what they’re looking at.
Yes: sports bras: I seldom wear a bra at all given my size but aside from the Delimira, I will favor a thin sports bra support, which can be worn under almost all tops unless it is evening wear. I would recommend the light athletic bra for any type of school clothing, for instance, as well as outdoor wear. While you can never find a bra that feels like you’re wearing nothing at all, unlike a brief, those are the next best thing.
No: shape-wear: With one of the leading brands calling itself ‘Spanx’, you get the picture. Modern shape-wear is a lot more comfortable than vintage girdles and panty-corselets, but it serves the same ideological function: women’s bodies are ugly and they need to be controlled. Far better to let something or other be free and loose than to submit to this self-imposed discipline that says, ‘I better look trim for my man or else he’s going to paddle my girdle-clad behind’ (no offense, guys!). The ONLY time you might consider it is if evening-wear defeats you. Its forgivable here because it is for a patently theatrical context and everyone knows it, so you can feel more at ease cinching yourself into something less comfortable since everyone’s doing it and it’s like putting on a costume. Otherwise, no!
No: cheap nylons: While recently it is more the case that you can get away with inexpensive tights – though never those patterned – pantyhose has not yet caught up to this status. Far better to spend 20 dollars on a pair that will last six months with hand washing and drying than 1 dollar on a pair that might last two days. Treat it just like buying a car; generally, the more you spend, the better the product. My auto’s from 2007 and it’s still a dream to drive and very solid. That was the first thing my dad told me when we went out and got it. He chose it, I bought it.
Yes: Marque nylons: For tights, look to ‘Hue’. They’re soft and supple, feel great to wear and they’re mid-range inexpensive. If you feel like you need support where it counts, their ‘silky’ top pantyhose will serve, but don’t wear anything but a thong underneath, if even that. The best tights I have ever encountered are regrettably ‘out of print’: Merona used to make tights to die for, though they were 50 dollars plus each. But me wearing those all day? I knew they were going get soaked with my arousal; they were THAT hot.
No: Heels: In a word, evil. The devil wears three inch stilettos and wants you to wear them too. Chase her out of your house with a flexible (and comfortable) leather slipper (though if you catch her you won’t be able to turn her perky butt any redder than it already is!). If you absolutely HAVE to wear them for any length of time, always go one inch or lower, no matter your height, and always pick either the comma or block heel. Blocks go better with slacks and jeans of course, commas with dresses and skirts. Even with the one-inchers, take every chance to slip them off; when you’re at your desks at work or school, in the car – if driving, change to flats before you start off; driving in heels places stress on the ankles and forces the arches to overcompensate – or visiting friends. Now in my business I wear heels constantly, but the set shoots never last longer than two hours at a time and we always get out of our heels any time we can. Wearing balancing-act heels will kill your arches, ankles, knees, hips, and back. Need I go on? Of all the things we women wear, heels present the biggest health risk. So take it from a professional model; for both moms and daughters, avoid them like the plague.
No: ‘fast’ fashion: For apparel in general, avoid buying new items not made in the developed world. China and Korea can be okay pending brand. If you need to purchase items made in more dubious countries, do it second-hand. Do NOT support the fast fashion industry; it is the cancer within the fashion industry in general. The devil does NOT wear Prada after all, but rather fast fashion. If you want the dirt on my business, watch the documentary film ‘The True Cost’. We watched it in our contemporary fashion class and after you’re done, you’ll feel like you got a mental whipping. We all sat there in silence for some minutes, and then Emi – remember, my girlfriend is THE poster child for the anti-spanking forces – said: ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but for the first time in my life I feel like I need a thorough thrashing.’ Another fun fact about my sector: it’s second only to the oil industry in environmental damage. So like a good auto, buy more expensive clothes and simply take care of them. Men have a distinct advantage here, as their styles last far longer than ours, but even so, there are some items of women’s wardrobe that stand the test of time well; certain flairs and cuts of skirts, for example, and items like tights. It’s not easy to ethically consume women’s clothing, but TRY. Girls, if you watch this film – which should be mandatory viewing in all high schools, in my opinion – and you STILL go out and blithely buy whatever from wherever, then you need to be bent naked over a sturdy stool and soundly paddled until you can’t sit, and that once a week until you stop. I’d be willing to administer them myself!
Yes: equestrian gear: When I modeled horsey stuff I found the boots to be sensually empowering, the tights to be very hot, and the tops quite chic. There’s no reason for the rich polo girls to have all the fun with this niche! Blackheart Equestrian makes the finest tights/tops combos and they can be used for ANY athletic activity, including yoga, or even just hanging out. The sizing is very forgiving and the colors are clever. Women with major curves will look stunning in it. The boots are designed for impact and load-bearing and are surprisingly comfortable just to walk in. Personally, I’m scared of horses so I won’t be mounting any anytime soon, but that didn’t stop me from keeping EVERY single item from these shoots, whereas I give away at least a third to a half of such gratis to the local food bank, as I mentioned recently. Here’s another sensual interface: get some reef shoes (no socks), don your riding tights and top – if you’re feeling a little bold, nothing underneath either – pull on some thin leather driving gloves and get out on the freeway and let her rip! With Emi riding shotgun, we’ve driven out to unlikely places and had at it, and the results were always VERY memorable. Horsepower, right?
Summary: In a word, you can be sexy without being sexual. This is the same thing that moms will say, like ‘you can still be attractive without looking like a floozy’ (to use a ragtime period term). In this case, at least, the moms are correct (gasp!). Example: if you work in the service sector, especially if you’re a server, use your legs and face to generate tips or sales, not your butt and breasts. How? Flats or low heels, patterned dark hued tights or hose, dress shorts, not skirts, over them. Sports bra support that ‘lifts and separates’ but offers full coverage so you can utilize the plunge neckline without worrying about guys gawking or other women sneering. Low heels give your legs enough sculpt without accentuating your rear overmuch. The sports bra shows that you still HAVE breasts without pushing them in the face of your patrons.
Hair: Keep it simple. I’m lucky I have a strong natural wave, so just brushing it through a little in the morning and I’m ready for the esthetician to take over. Play to your strengths with hair. VERY few women can pull off a short cut; those who can and who have any height at all should be in modeling, it’s that rare. But long hair could run the risk of getting into people’s food or messing up stuff on a sales counter. As well, bangs banging on your cheeks all day is simply annoying, a safety issue when driving, and might give older folks the impression that you don’t care about your appearance. But don’t pin it up like you’re a refugee from a strict ballet studio, just style it out of the way and maybe use a brooch that can become a talking piece. With jewelry, always flash your bling by way of a functional item. So, brooches and hairpins, yes, necklaces and rings, no. And who needs a watch when everyone has a phone? Leave the watch fetish thing to John Mayer and other such narcissists.
Cosmetics: The PRINCIPLE behind makeup is that no one should be able to tell you’re wearing any. The PURPOSE behind it is to bring out facial features which already exist; primarily, eyes and lips, secondarily, cheeks and brows (eyebrows). So never overdo it. If you have perky cheeks, for instance, you need little help featuring them. It is well known that the faces of supermodels are symmetrical; the left and right sides match. The rest of us mere mortals don’t have that natural balance; it too is rare. So ultimately, the OVERALL purpose of cosmetics is to artificially contrive that balance, making our faces look as if they are in perfect symmetry! Shoot for this adjustment only, choosing the prettier side of your face as the one to match to.
Okay! I hope this helps with one annoying aspect of the family dynamic and I am confident following my advice will lessen the chance of tension between younger and older across the board. Hey, tell me I shouldn’t be writing for YM! Hugs, Jill.
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