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Date Posted: 04:36:14 09/09/24 Mon
Author: Intro & How We Do Things
Subject: Jen

I posted this on another discipline forum but thought I would share it here too.

My name is Jen, I’m married, live in the midwestern US, and have 3 boys who are 5, 7, 10. We are just your typical middle class suburban family.

There are a lot of discipline forums that I’ve posted on over the years but I can’t remember if I’ve ever done a formal introduction here. I have some time today and thought I would share how we do things.

We are big believers in first time obedience (FTO). Our FTO protocols are:
1) child must say, “yes mommy/daddy” when their name is called and immediately come.
2) child must maintain eye contact and smile while instructions are given.
3) child must say “yes ma’am/sir” when we are done instructing.
4) child must complete the tasks immediately with a happy attitude.
At age 10 the child is given the privilege to appeal if they are in good standing of FTO. The privilege can be revoked. To appeal they must:
1) wait in silence until the adult is done talking, no interruptions.
2) ask, “may I appeal?”
3) if granted clearly state the appeal. If denied then the task needs to be completed immediately with a happy attitude.

We have 3 punishments:
1) corner time
2) spankings
3) diapers

Corner time is for very minor things like being over active. It’s great to settle them down.

Spankings make up most of our discipline. Spankings are always bare bottom, over the lap in the family room. I do most of the punishments. I use either just my hand, a spoon, hairbrush sized Lexan paddle or baby oil. It depends on what I want and feel is needed.

Maintenance is pretty rare. Maintenance is done on a short term basis, maybe a month or two, and is done when the child doesn’t quickly submit to punishment. Maintenance is to break their will and reinforce our rules and procedures. We like to pair maintenance with sports to tire them out and make them more docile.

Diapers are used for babyish and overly immature behavior. The main reason for diaper discipline is for not taking responsibility for accidents, skid marks in underwear or poor hygiene. WE NEVER DISCIPLINE FOR BEDWETTING!

We encourage our 5&7 year olds to wear pull-ups for special events, holidays, illnesses, traveling, or any other time they might have an accident. But it’s their choice and they know the rules and consequences. The rules are:
1) accident in underwear and tell an adult = No punishment, just wear a pull-up for the rest of the day.
2) accident in underwear and lie or hide it = spanking and diapers.
3) accident in pull-ups = no punishment at all. They took the personal responsibility to wear a pull-up.

If they fight the diapers then we may add other baby items like pacifiers, bottles etc., but that’s pretty rare. We use Goodnites, Pull-Ups, Huggies and Luvs.

Other rules:
We have baby monitors in each boy’s room
Bedroom doors remain open
Each boy is required to play sports
Each boy is required to maintain a B average grade
Each boy is required to wear a GPS tracking watch when outside, we use Gabb.
Homework is done at the kitchen table immediately after school
Soda pop and juice is for special occasions only. They are allowed milk & water only
Bedtime is 8:30 year round
Supervised bath time until age 10
Chores need to be done before dinner
We have parental controls on TVs and computers

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