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Date Posted: 00:53:47 11/18/99 Thu
Author: Dude Dammage
Subject: Brian Steel, Chris King, Prepare to Get Dammaged

"Angry Chair" booms over the loudspeakers as Dude Dammage comes out with a wheelchair, crutches, a body bag, and a walker all piled onto a gurney, wheeling them up to the ring and procedes to throw all of them in. Tony and Bobby are sitting at the announcers' table.

Tony: Oh boy, now what does Dude Dammage have in mind with all that equipment?

Bobby: Well, maybe, The Dude's hurt or something.

Tony: If he's hurt, why's he throwing that stuff in the ring instead of using it?

Bobby: How should I know? What I've seen of Dude Dammage, anything's possible with him, he already has two title belts, people are challenging him left and right, he has one title defense at Death Pilgrimage and possibly two if he accepts the challenge of the new guy, Chris King. Maybe all the pressure requires him to get all this equipment ready for the inevitable.

Tony: Yeah, right, Bobby. Dude Dammage has had a hell of a run as of late, and I don't think two title defenses would slow him down one bit. I think he wants the microphone.

Dammage receives the microphone in the middle of the ring after setting up the various medical accessories.

DD: Now before The Dude gets started on His rant, how many people here want to see The Dude open up a can of Whup-Ass on not just one, but TWO piece-o-crap jaboners at Death Pilgrimage!?

Crowd cheers resoundingly.

DD, smiling: Yeah, that's just what The Dude thought. First off, The Dude's gonna talk about you Chris King. (crowd groans) Now, Y2D's been lookin' at the way you seem to be in training for your opponents...by watching Xena? The Butch Princess!? And you of most people want to challenge The Most Totally Awesome Dude in on-line sports entertainment for His US Championship belt? Tell ya what, Christy, you manage to get by the palooka Cooka, and maybe, just maybe, The Dude will let you grace The Dude's ring and be martyred by Y2D Himself. (crowd cheers louder)

DD: Now on to Brian "The Hammer" Steel. The Dude's gotta admire your ovarian fortitude to also grace The Dude's ring with your soon to be brief appearance. You have to be wondering why The Dude has all of this equipment in this ring: the wheelchair, the crutches, the gurney, the walker, the body bag. Well, these are just some of the choices you get to make as to your departure from The Dude's ring. Although, you could just as well go with the body bag and gurney while getting two for the price of one!!

Suddenly, Dammage grabs the crutches and smashes them on the wheelchair, takes the walker and bends it into a pretzel, and takes the wheelchair and proceeds to crack it into the ring post until it too is broken. He then puts the body bag on top of the gurney.

DD: Well, now the choice is even more clear, because at the PPV, Steel, it's your end of days, If you get The Dude's drift!!

With the music starting up again, Dammage throws the microphone and leaves the broken items behind him as he leaves the ring.

Tony: Wow! We haven't seen The Dude this pumped up for any match in quite a while.

Bobby: Too bad all that stuff got broken, would've made good Christmas presents for your mom, Tony.

Tony: Oh shut up!

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