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Date Posted: 13:00:46 11/02/99 Tue
Author: Dude Dammage
Subject: The Dude Wants the US Belt

Back in the dressing room, Mike Tennis is standing next to Dude Dammage, who happens to have a cold beverage in his hand.

MT: Dude Dammage, what are your thoughts on the President's announcement of a battle royal for the US Heavyweight Title? Do you want to enter?

DD: Does a fat guy fart? Of course the Dude wants in, ya stupid sh--! Holy Barry Brother of Satan, one of the reasons The Dude entered the GCW was to win title belts, number two (holds up the beverage), number three who's in the backseat of my car waiting for me right now to give him a piece of her poontang pie, and number four to whup some jaboner ass!!

MT: You have a lot on your plate, Dude, with Lou of the Kliq on Friday, the impending battle royal, and now with newcomer Mat Blaster calling you out as well.

DD: What was his name again?

MT: Ma...

DD: WHO CARES WHAT HIS NAME IS!! I know this geek's name-- Fart Blaster or Turkey Baster or whatever he wants to call himself. He's some punk who wants to be The Dude, but CAN'T be The Dude. Now let me wrap up this crap by sayin' this: Lou, the six-pack standin' in the way of The Dude's US Belt, Mat Blaster, all you guys should know that the end of your days are comin', If you get The Dude's drift! Outta my way, jaboner, The Dude's got an appointment ta keep!

Dude Dammage pushes Tennis out of the way.

MT: And now here's a message from Planned Parenthood....

MT:

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