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Date Posted: 23:36:54 11/08/99 Mon
Author: Dude Dammage
Subject: Sucks to be you, Mat and the LOD

With duffel bag in tow, Dude Dammage is walking out of the arena, when Michael Cole with cameraman comes up behind him with a microphone.

MC: Dude, Dude!! May I have a word with you?

DD: Oh, for the love of Satan, Now what do you want with The Dude? He's on the way to the club for a little party, make it quick, jaboner.

MC: Mat Blaster has been attacked in the dressing room by the LOD.

DD: LOD? What the hell is that? Lovers of Dude? Losers on Dope?

MC: Actually the...

DD: NOBODY CARES WHO THEY ARE!?! The Dude knows that Blaster has a match with one of those jaboners next Monday and could care less what they do to him then, but from now thru Friday, his ass is mine. LOD, don't even THINK of interrupting The Dude's match, 'cause The Dude's perfectly capable of wasting Blaster by himself and ALSO taking out all you salad-tossers.

MC: What about Todd Terrific and his new stable, the SOD?

DD: What? More dumbass initials? As far as both the SOD and the LOD are concerned, they're both POS who should be MIA when The Dude tattoos FUBAR on all their DOA asses. Now, if you'll excuse The Dude, he's getting some PBRs and MGDs, makin' bacon with some PYTs, and f---in' hopes He doesn't get a DUI on the way home. If you get The Dude's drift!

Dammage walks out the door.

MC: There you have it, Dude Dammage threatening all of the LOD and SOD to stay out of the match between himself and Mat Blaster.

(scene fades)

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