Date Posted:20:35:47 12/07/07 Fri Author:Rae Subject: A mysterious figure looms In reply to:
Kande's Sis
's message, "KS finally realizes" on 06:03:15 12/07/07 Fri
It seems to the astounded Shippervillians to be a Minotaur-like phantasm: half-deer, half....?
"Librarian," Kande shouts and everyone hits the floor. There is a brief spray of automatic weapon's fire, and then an ominous silence broken only by the motion sensitive singing Santa over the bar rendering the chorus of "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas."
"Good Lord, what's going on here?" Rabid snarls, as she lets the 24-point buck slide from her shoulders into a lewd position across the bartop.
Bubba, still a ball, jingles a greeting at the long-missing librarian, but it is Kenemom who first finds her voice again. "Where have you been? It's been 18 and a half years since you said you were going to do something about those deer eating your carrots."
"18 and a half...?" Rabid gapes at her friend and ruthless overlord, the High Mayor of Shipperville. "I've only been gone two days. And it's the middle of August so why are there Christmas lights everywhere?"
"You killed the mistletoe," Kande said, pointing to where Rabid's Uzi had taken out the shrubbery overhead.
"Oh, good shot," Kande's sis exclaimed.
Detoured was peering at Rabid. "I think someone should go get Stardoe. We seem to have a case of missing time on our hands."
"That deer," Rabid says, pointing at her buck, "Was killed yesterday. Does he smell 18 and a half years old to you?"
"I can't believe you shot Bambi's dad," someone calls from the corner of the bar.
"I didn't," Rabid says off-hand, "That's Blitzen. Never could stand that pompous wanker. Always wanting to control the reindeer games. Let's play Blitzen Says...sheesh!"
"Change of personality," Detoured hisses at Kande. "She used to hate guns and hunting, remember?"
Kande, eyes still on the holes blasted in the ceiling nods and says, "I say we check her neck for metal vertebrae. And someone get Blitzen off my bar. That's got to be a health code violation."
"I was just writing you the citation," KM says, tearing off the sheet of paper she'd just scribbled on and handing it over. "Merry Christmas."
"And a festive Summer Solstice to us all," Rabid grouses, while behind her, Kande's Sis readies a net.