In a huge cloud of dust and sparks, Dr Stardoe rides into town at last. -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 17:46:30 03/01/03 Sat
Author: Stardoe
Subject: In a huge cloud of dust and sparks, Dr Stardoe rides into town at last.
In reply to: Kande's Sis 's message, "Take that! And that! And that!" on 21:53:10 02/27/03 Thu

The streets fill as all the true shipper citizens of shipperville spill out to greet the absentee sherrif/scientist.

"Where have you been Stardoe?" puffs the Mayor as she trundles up to the horse trough outside the Klub.

"Oh, not alot. Just dancing in the rain. Rain Rain Rain " sings Stardoe as she starts piroeting around her sweating horse, Alexandria.

"Can you just shut up about rain for a minute so we can get to the problem at hand? Rain means zip to me. Now did you get my distress call Stardoe, or not?" says Kenamom.

"Well yes, and that's why I'm here. Where is Islandgirl? I can fix her. It took me a long time to think of something but it was a long trip back and so lets get started before those Moronos do more damage to her delicate psyche." replies Stardoe, looking up at the sky and wondering if Shipperville will get some rain too

"Forget the rain!!" Kenamom slaps her and drags her off to the lab shouting orders to CW to bring IG to the lab ASAP. "And Bubba, take care of Stardoe's horse will you?"

Bubba nods and takes Alexandria out the back to the stables.

Meanwhile back in Stardoe's lab it isn't long before CW arrives with IG. Kande and KS are hanging on to IG's ankles coughing and choking on the dust their draggin bodies are stirring up.

"At last" breaths KM with a touch of relief in her voice. As one-eyed as IG always was about shipperism, this new noromistic factor is making KM feel quite nervous. KM opens up a trap door and the sisters scrabble away into a corner as two large salt water crocs crawl out and eye them off.

"That's far enough" says Stardoe as she does her own bit of eyeing off of Islandgirl. "Crikey!" she breaths quietly under her breath.

"YOu look as worried as I feel" says KM.
"MMmmmmm" MMMMMMMs Stardoe.
She goes over to her alien torture chair that she got as an early b-day present from BH. She heaves the glassy eyed IG into it and proceeds to hook her cheeks up to the hooks at either side of her face. Above the chair is a screen. Stardoe hits some buttons and on the screen flashes all the shippy scenes from XF over the yrs.
"That will buy us some time" says Stardoe as she turns to KM and CW. "I notice that IG has not written any more fan fic for quite some time. Her confidence has gone. She no longer believes in herself as far as shipperistic qualities go. But all is not lost. She still has them. We just have to make her see that we believe in her and that we KNOW that there is no way we would ever dream that she could ever possess Moronistic qualities. I have the answer. Get everyone together and lock those two claytons citizens up in the echidna pen.

With KS and Kande's cackles of torture coming from the echidna pen as 6 echidnas lick ants off the bottom of their feet, the rest of Shipperville take it in turn to convince Islandgirl that she is truely the core of shipperdom in Shipperville. Everyone does their best until at last it is Stardoe's turn.

Stardoe enters her shipper shrine dungeon where IG is now lolling on a pink Hello Kitty Scully cushion. Stardoe begins.

"Islandgirl. I know you love the married fics and you know how much I really destest them. I hate to read your married fics. Always have. I love reading your other fics though, but the married ones just aren't right. They never were."

A tear forms in IG's eye at this. "...but Islandgirl I have to say this and I want you to do this for all of us shippers including yourself. Only YOU can do it. NOone else. Now is the time for married fics. Yes, you heard right. Write us a married fic. Make it about the time a new movie will be made. Say, 2 years after the end of the show. Lets have Mulder and Scully living as a married couple [although not really married as they are under assumed names] Lets have them living in a farming community, with jobs ie Mulder is now called Wil Mantle and is working as a farm hand on a farm where they rent a small cottage from the really lovely pseudo-parent owners. Scully is his "wife" Katherine who works in the local town as maybe a lab assistant at the local blood bank/medical centre. And the really good bit is that they have a 1 yr old daughter. Call her Erin. KathERINe , get it? Now Wil and Katherine have never had a honeymoon so their employers give them a week off and the farmers offer to mind Erin for them. So they go off to some resort place or wherever you want and solve some kind of mystery in the regular Mulder and Scully way. IN the mean time, while they are far from where they live Scully decides to post her mother a photo of Erin as a newborn and also a family pic of the three of them at their "fake" wedding a few months ago. There's a nice scene for Mulder and Scully to wonder what it would be like to be back home and normal. [If that's possible for them. ] Now because Katherine works at the local medical centre, she has access to files of patients. Expecially a local 3 yr old farm boy named William who is the son of the farm couple 50 miles down the road. You get the gist now? So there you are Islandgirl. "

Stardoe sits back on her chair after babbling all that sickly stuff out. "Go do your stuff. Write ME a married fic, Islandgirl. Yes, ME Stardoe, the supreme hater of married fics. Go do it. ONly you can do it justice IG. And I will print it off and keep it forever. I need it Islandgirl. I'm in a dreadful state of withdrawal and only YOU, Islandgirl, YOU can bring me out of it. Relieve my torture. Please, Islandgirl, do it for all of Shipperville but mainly do it for the one person who never ever thought that she would ask for a married fic from you. You're the only one I'd ask Islandgirl. But please only two conditions. Noone calls anyone 'LOVER' and they always call eachother Mulder and Scully in private."

Islandgirl comes out of her reverie. It just starts to hit her. Stardoe and Married fic all in the same sentence. She jumps up from the chair in a flash. She runs out the door heading for her favourite tree in the middle of the park. She shimmies up it and reaches into a hollow branch and pulls out her palm pilot and a remote keyboard and starts typing.

Stardoe is looking at the nervous faces of the citizens of Shipperville. "Do you think it'll work?" they ask. "I hope so " repies Stardoe. Now let's go and watch those two Moronos get a bit more tickle torture before my echidnas blow up from over feeding.

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Replies:

Stardoe and KM gasp when they see the sisters -- Kande's Sis, 14:48:30 03/02/03 Sun