Authenticity Side Bar -- Small Businesses Discussion Forum

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Subject: Authenticity Side Bar

Author:
Dennis S. Vogel

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Date Posted: 05:35:26 04/28/16 Thu
In reply to: Dennis S. Vogel 's message, "Treat People As They Can Be & They'll What???" on 05:23:28 04/28/16 Thu

This side bar can help you, your staff & family. This insight can help you understand what bothers some people & why.

"Self Matters Creating Your Life From The Inside Out" by Phillip C. McGraw Ph.D. (aka Dr. Phil) Chapter 2.

Anybody, who isn't authentic, is very likely to be insecure. Insecurity can be like building without a foundation or faulty foundation.

A building like that can be moved or knocked over by a relatively weak force (wind or flood) that would have less effect on a sturdy building.

People, who are unauthentic, endure a lot of stress because they're insecure to some degree (consciously &/or subconsciously).

In effect, they're trying to be who & what they are not. Being a fake is being insecure.

People, who are unauthentic, may've been like that so long, it's familiar. It's familiar enough to feel natural.

Even a comfort zone can be stressful. Trying to maintain a false personality often requires more energy than being authentic.

Being inauthentic is a negative combination of suppressing the real personality/identity & propping up the false identity.

Insults & perceived rejection hurt them a lot because they don't have a solid self-esteem or sense of self.

Secure people don't use a substitute ego. This is how I define/describe a "substitute ego".

Some people, who have weak egos, use somebody or something outside of themselves.

Analogy: (It's corny, but has a good point.) A platypus (aka duckbill) could try socializing with ducks because it has bill & webbed feet plus lays eggs.

A platypus could try socializing with beavers because they're mammals with similar tails.

If a platypus could try to be a duck or beaver, it would be unauthentic & less apt to be accepted by ducks or beavers.

If somebody asked, "Hey platypus, what are you today? Maybe you're a turtle."

That insecure platypus would have a problem.

To feel better that insecure platypus might say, "You'll never swim in this water. It's best water in the world!"

Having a perceived connection to "best water in the world" would be the platypus's substitute ego. S/he would feel deeply insulted if anybody made a negative comment about that water.

A secure platypus would realize that jerk has a problem in an addition to being a problem.

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