Little Johnny Writes Sants (I have to post it, its just so funny) -- WELCOME TO THE AWHL FORUM

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Date Posted: 19:32:53 12/15/99 Wed
Author: Joe
Subject: Little Johnny Writes Sants (I have to post it, its just so funny)

Dear Santa,

You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the
26th of December.
Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things
that have occurred since the beginning of the month!
(While filled with illusion I wrote you this letter)
I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of
roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain
studying the whole year! Not only was I the first in my class,
but I had the best grades in the whole school....
I'm not going to lie to you Santa, there was no one in my
entire neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my
parents, my brothers, my friends and with my neighbors,
I would go on errands and even help the elderly cross the street.
There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity!

WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO,
A STUPID ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS! WHAT THE
FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH,
THAT YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE
FUCKING YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH SOME SHIT LIKE THIS
UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF YOU HADN'T FUCKED ME
ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD ACROSS THE STREET
SO MANY FUCKING TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS
DAMN HOUSE! PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT
YOUR BIG FAT ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR!
"I'LL FUCK YOU UP!" I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS
REINDEERS OF YOURS, AND SCARE THEM THE FUCK AWAY,
SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR BIG FAT ASS BACK TO THE
NORTHPOLE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET
ME THAT FUCKING BIKE, YOU PUNK BITCH!!
YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, FUCK YOU!! NEXT YEAR
YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW BAD I CAN REALLY FUCKING BE...
YOU'VE BEEN SLIPPING ON A MOTHERFUCKER FAR TOO
LONG! SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT BITCH!

Love always,

Little Johnny

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