| Subject: An empty East wing |
Author:
Cricket
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Date Posted: 07:40:19 06/24/01 Sun
She had spent the day at the Roost, with Becca. It had been crazy, and busy..but all in all in went well.
Things were better for Becca now too..with new found freedom..she was already blossoming.
Nessa was getting further along in her pregnancy..but she too, seemed to be coping well.
Burgoo..well..he was his normal frustrating but beloved self..and he tried..very hard, to make them all happy.
Shai and Kett were staying at the chateau..and even though that was hard..because of the secret of Ciros being there..she still held hope that in the future, when Ciro healed..it would all turn out allright.
Aldrea was grieving..Saji was ill..she hardly saw Ciro..and Lanthe..they feared was gone. But people were growing, and changing..and despite the hardships..things, she thought..were working out.
She was to find..that not everything was going as smoothly as she might like to think.
She drug herself back to the villa..tired and just wanting a bath, whiskey, food and quiet. Burgoo had astounded her with what he had done a few days previous. She loved him for it though..he tried So hard..and she had come back to him. He really couldnt help himself at times.
She bathed and ate, while Burgoo and Shard wrestled each other in the gardens, and when Burgoo came up, he would find her in a good mood, adorned in her night time shirt, with a whiskey and book in hand, small spectacles perched upon her nose.
They talked about all manner of things, from poison skinned races to her own blood, to Aldrea and Nessa, and about Becca, and Saji..just quiet, friendly talk, that soothed her and made her smile.
She was quite stunned to find Ciro in the hall...and oh..he seemed even worse than before. Her heart was wrung between hands of fierce pain each time she saw him..and she had been walking on eggshells since writing him the missive about Shai and Kett. ..He had not responded..but then..she had only hoped he would..not really expected it.
Burgoo, left them alone.
She certainly did not expect what happened next..as her whole, precariously constructed world, was brought down around her ears like so many cards.
" I lied to you Cricket"
oh those words cut her heart like glass..he had said them to her once before.
"I cannot stay here"
"Ill be leaving in the morning"
Perhaps she had known, somehow, for there was no suprised as the words scathed her ear. Only a deep hole somewhere inside..that poured out blackness as he spoke.
Her months of waiting..her hard learned patience..her aching for him night and day for so long...the hope that he would somehow..get to know his children..
it was all for naught..and she suffered the consequences.
She gave no words of protest..there was no anger, or begging. Times for that were over now. She could find no words to stop him.
She had once told him she would leave the family she had so long sought, to be with him and him alone..because she could not bare the thought of leaving him. As he told her that he was going back to the cabin..she closed wet eyes. She could no longer follow..for her word had been given to watch over Shai and Kett. His children. ...his children that needed him so..and that he constantly denied. The split to her heart, was great..leave everything for him..or stay..for his children. There was no indecision..no room for it. Her word had been given..and no matter what anyone thought..her word, was gold.
He spoke his words..with cold detachment..and she looked away. She could not stand to see his back turned her way again. She spoke naught..and the torture went on..as he could not take the steps away. It was too hard for him. He could not stay, yet he could not walk away.
She had learned her lessons well from him..and though it would be one of the hardest things she had ever done..she gave him a last gift. Her quiet, roughened voice through the tears, came only as she detached herself..odd, brutal efficiency, that strangely, she had learned from him.
"I do not love you Ciro. I never loved you. I do not want you anymore. Go away."
Her stomach clenched, her heart twisted..and as each word was spoken, she was sicker. Never had words made her so ill.
Somehow, even with her back to him..she had known the dagger was drawn. Yet still..there was no protest..resigned to take whatever came. The dagger fell..no blood was spilled. Only the essence of her heart, as he spoke the last words she would hear from him.
"you never could lie to me Cricket"
No..she never could..but she did that night..and she was naeuseaus with it.
When she at last turned around, he was gone. Only an empty chair on her balcony..and she dropped to her knees, sick at heart, in mind, and stomach. Tears came..tears she thought she had long ago shed..and she grieved for him as if she had buried him herself. "Her" Ciro was gone..she had lost him to whatever horrors had captured him from the cabin. In his place..was this cold, shell of a man..and she could do nothing..nothing at all, to remedy it.
He was a rogue..a heartless assassin..and she had been a fool to think she was any different from the hundreds of other women he had left with child.
It was what he did, she realized..it was what he was. Ironic that he could not leave her carrying his child..but in that ugly twist..his other children, were now under her care. She would see them every day..she would be reminded every day..and Ciro, would leave yet another broken heart and devastated woman in his wake.
She hadnt been so different after all.
Cricket of the Rogues
"So prospers still, the diplomatic art, and
Satan bows, with hand upon his heart "
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