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Date Posted: 19:19:48 03/08/04 Mon
Author: Wes
Subject: The Jayson Blair Hour
In reply to: Wes 's message, "New Sketch I'm Working On" on 19:18:30 03/08/04 Mon

The Jayson Blair Hour
By Wes Zack


Jayson Blair… Kenan Thompson
Announcer… Chris Parnell


Announcer V/O: Coming this April, former disgraced New York Times reporter Jayson Blair gets his own show, The Jayson Blair Hour.

Blair: (Sitting at news desk, face looks sweaty and flush.) In my opinion, John Edwards won’t be Kerry’s running mate, his running mate will be Jay-Z.

Announcer V/O: Jayson Blair pulls no punches when it comes to current events.

Blair: There is nothing wrong with President Bush; you know he was a war hero!

Announcer V/O: Jayson also talks about important historical facts, key word being facts.

Blair: With that one swing of the bat, Wayne Gretzky gave the Boston Celtics the 1934 Super Bowl.

Announcer V/O: Do you want the truth, you can’t handle the truth!

Blair: The weirdest thing happened the other night when I was walking home, a spaceship came crashing out of the sky and then… and then… uhh… (Gets out a handkerchief and wipes off sweaty face.) and then Michael Jordan came out of the spaceship. He said, “Hey Jayson, would you like some Taco Bell?” Then I said “Sure MJ!” So we went and got uhh… uhh… quesadillas, yeah, quesadillas.

Announcer V/O: Jayson Blair is the best thing to happen to television.

Blair: You love me America, face it, America loves liars, they love Bill Clinton, they love that character Jon Lovitz plays, what’s his name… Tommy Flanagan, yeah that’s the ticket.

Announcer V/O: The Jayson Blair Hour coming this fall to Fox News.

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Replies:

  • It's A Vetty Good (NT) -- S-Calade, 19:28:18 03/09/04 Tue
  • But does need work (NT) -- R, 19:31:07 03/09/04 Tue
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