May I inquire -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 05:37:47 03/15/07 Thu
Author: Evan D.
Subject: May I inquire
In reply to: Jim Bevan 's message, "Not bad, Matteo" on 10:51:53 03/14/07 Wed

Into whether you are doing the CO again? I'd like to try one. Yes, I know it was a Bush one last time but this one is better because it pretty much is about the entire administration. Less of Bush=stupid and more of Bush's government=crooked and dastardly. What with all the controversy, I'm thinking of a CO where there's a press conference with the White House correspondents and Snow is answering questions in the usual vague, depends-what-your-definition way.

Then Bush and Gonzales are introduced to speak while Cheney stands by. Eventually, all these questions of cover-ups and scandals turn absurd when scandals are being inadvertantly revealed (eg. Libby and Sampson now re-assigned to be white house line cooks getting paid minimum wage, Gonzales accused of trying to resurrect the ghost of Ronald Reagan, use a black magic spell to have him take over the dead body of a nameless hobo).

Bush and Gonzales dodge questions about the firing of the attorneys in their evasive way with Bush even saying "Sure, he got a good performance mark on his evaluation 2 weeks before. But you know, like, things change! We found out his sick days for the past 2 years were a lie because he did it to go see his kids softball games! I already told people, if your kid is in a game let me go and see it for you! It's not a federal attorney's job to watch his son hit a home run, it's his job to investigate political evil-doers. The president does the baseball thing, signs the kids gloves and poses for photo-op. That's uh, short for photo operative!"

Also, Cheney mysteriously seems to be having members of the press intoxicated, drugged and gassed when they try to ask tough questions. Julia Louis-Dreyfus will be introduced as the female correspondent that fills in when Snow is not there (even though I don't know what that one looks like it makes sense since JLD is good looking). The male members had water spiked with viagra so their, er, erections make them emberassed to ask a question. Helen Thomas becomes aroused anyway... just a little jab that she's a lesbian (even though it's not true, it's kinda funny).

Out from left field I wanted to have a Will Ferrell cameo-within-a-skit where he stumbles out and goes "Wait, am I supposed to be here?" as Bush goes "Hey hope ya don't mind. We invited mah friend Will Ferrell who used to do me on that talk show there." Then when Will goes "Uh, wait no. I was supposed to go to the rotary club! I don't think I'm" Then a secret service guy trips him off the stage into a trap door that emerges a fiery pit where he screams about being badly burnt and needing medical attention, ala Mustafa in Austin Powers.

Bush says "Hey look, Will Ferrell dropped by just to do the bit from the Austin Powers movie! Funny guy!" And everyone laughs anyway. Then Ferrell's complaints, like in the movie, are interrupted when he is shot in the pit by a service guy sent by Cheney. People laugh again and he emerges from the tank all charred and filled with bullet holes but people still laugh... cause they've been drugged. Then Ferrell flails offstage but pulls down the curtain to reveal Donald Trumph and Rosie actually talking and planning out their next series of attacks.

The two are stunned but relieved when Bush tells them it's ok, no one will find out because they're hallucinating and drugged them all so they won't remember. Then Cheney says "It's ok, George. We already killed the original Rosie and Donald years ago and replaced them with robotic spyware equipment to track enemies." And the two take off their masks to reveal themselves as robots who say "We are spreading freedom! This is the work of God and Jesus Christ our lord and saviour!" Bush says "Amen, R2D2!" Any suggestions for making it funnier or more biting? I think that it does a fine job at sending up just how corrupt the administration is becoming by the month it seems.

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Replies:

Matteo, if you don't mind my asking... -- Jim Bevan, 10:53:00 03/23/07 Fri
- Re: Matteo, if you don't mind my asking... -- Matteo, 22:12:30 03/26/07 Mon
  - Anthopomorphization - noun -- Jim Bevan, 22:44:14 03/26/07 Mon