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Date Posted: 19:49:47 05/27/04 Thu
Author: Jen
Subject: mini-review
In reply to: Jim Bevan 's message, "Sketch: Diner Politics" on 15:56:30 05/27/04 Thu

Jim, this is really REALLY long. The conversation between Bush and Kerry is nice, but I feel like you need to pick one joke or the other. The joke either needs to be about Bush and Kerry having this conversation where they really identify with each other and like one another, or it needs to be about your parody of Bush simply a tool for the crafty handed Cheney and Kerry not reordering all the time, or something entirely different. As is, because you have both plots going on this is too long and the pacing is too slow for the jokes you have in here to play off well.

Also, your descriptions are detailed which can be an asset but they are also long which can detract from the action.

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