Author:
Shanola
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Date Posted: 09:56:32 02/07/04 Sat
Opaque
By Shanola
They don’t see me. I walk down hallways and tunnels and pass operatives and techs and no one ever smiles or looks at me. It’s amazing. Sometimes I think I must be invisible. Sometimes I wish I were invisible.
“Put it on the workbench,” Walter doesn’t look up from the plastic case he is fitting together. At least he spoke to me. I move to the workbench and begin to unpack the crate I’d brought with me.
Walter’s a little different but most people here only speak when they need to. They treat words as if they are on the endangered species list. No talks about the weather, no discussion of how the day went, just ‘put that here’ or ‘take this there’. The word ‘no’ is practically a four letter word.
I spend my days lugging stuff from one place to another. Boring. I make up games to keep myself occupied. I like to think ‘What If’ a lot:
What if….I were a secret agent, driving fast, fancy cars?
What if….I had a great apartment in a great city with a great job?
What if….the tech in Comm started a conversation with me?
Stupid, I know. There are no What If’s out there. Just gray walls and a glimpse of weather if I have to go to the loading docks.
“Don’t put the plastique there.”
I jump a little at Walter’s gravel-like voice. Must have been daydreaming or something. I know the plastique doesn’t go there.
“Hey kid, you new here?” Walter is talking again and I pretend to concentrate on what I’m doing, but really I’m straining my ears to listen in. If I can’t have a conversation of my own, I’ll borrow one.
Walter’s feet shuffle softly on the concrete floor. “Hey, kid. What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?”
Filled with curiosity, I turn slightly to see who the new guy was. Walter’s looking at me. Walter‘s looking at me.
I blink, confused. We are alone and Walter is looking at me. Walter had spoken and I am the only one around. He’d asked me a question!
“I-“ I don’t know what to say. What was the question? Am I new? No, no I’m not but how should I say that?
Get a grip, I tell myself. He won’t bite. He’s got kind eyes. Take a breath and just….say it.
“I, um, no, I-“
“Walter!” Walter turns away and I shut up.
“We need this comm unit fixed.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody needs everything fixed right this instant,” Walter says as he walks back to the front. “Just put it on the workbench and tell me what the problem is.”
“If I knew the problem, I wouldn’t be here, Walter.” Whoever it is sounds pretty pissed off.
My box is empty, everything put away nice and neat. I stand a minute longer, sort of hoping Walter will come back. Then I shake myself and pick up the crate. Walter’s busy. I leave but as I trudge down the hall, I go over what just happened with Walter.
For a moment, I thought I had solidified, become real. I’d carry that with me for a long time.
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