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Date Posted: 11:17:10 11/21/04 Sun
Author: schwabra
Author Host/IP: nr1-216-196-135-173.fuse.net / 216.196.135.173
Subject: Dad

Dad

I awake still seeing the lights.
You, lying next to me under the tree.
I hear you breathing
I catch the scent of your cologne
The carols playing on the stereo.
I am five, and you are alive.
I feel your arm against mine
While we lay listening, looking
Up, inside the tree, at its lights.

That holiday
Feel, smell, sounds.

I awake still seeing the lights
The sterile hospital�s flourescents.
Their glow muddying my memories of
Mom crying, the family standing close.
I can�t feel beyond the shock.
My Buddy is gone.
What will I do under the tree?
But I can feel your arm against mine.
I begin to cry in
Convulsions.

That Saturday
Shock, fear, loss.

I awake still seeing the lights
The convoy of cars
Following the yellow strobe
Marking your place.
Friends support me, everyone blurred.
My Buddy is resting.
I can still feel your arm against mine.
There is nothing but
Silence.

That procession
Endless, family, friends.

I awake still seeing the lights
Cameras flashing,
My wedding,
Birth of first son,
Birth of second son
Family commotion.
I did not see you but
I could still feel your arm against mine.
I realize how much
I miss you.

Life moving
On, steady, unhindered.

I awake still seeing the lights
Now fading with their memories
Of you and me under the tree.
The carols replaced by the radio,
The decorations stored away.
My new day coming more into mind.
I still can feel your arm against mine
Sometimes, laying in bed
Remembering

My Dad
Buddy, friend, hero.

�Robert Schwab 1998

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Replies:

That was beautiful, Schwabra -- dori, 22:01:17 03/16/05 Wed
- Re: That was beautiful, Schwabra -- Shoshanna, 23:03:59 10/17/05 Mon
  - Mine gone for 18 years -- schwabra, 08:40:00 10/19/05 Wed