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Date Posted: 18:27:22 02/12/04 Thu
Author: Kuzibah
Author Host/IP: 68.80.18.137
Subject: Re: New Fanfic: (BtVS, Post-Chosen) Two Hearts- part 5
In reply to: Kuzibah 's message, "New Fanfic: (BtVS, Post-Chosen) Two Hearts- part 1" on 18:22:25 02/12/04 Thu

Willow sighed, staring at the dirt-packed floor. “Kennedy,” she began, then hesitated, took a deep breath, and began again. “You know I love you, don’t you?”

Kennedy nodded, and Willow could see she was too nervous to trust her voice.

“I loved Oz, too,” Willow went on. “And I loved Tara. I don’t know if I would have stayed with either of them forever, you know, if Oz hadn’t been a werewolf or if Tara hadn’t…” She took another deep breath. “I think I would have, but it never came to that. I’m telling you this so you won’t think it’s because you weren’t Oz, or because you weren’t Tara.”

Kennedy shook her head, tears starting in her eyes. “Don’t,” she said, so quietly that no sound escaped.

Willow could feel the sting of tears in her own eyes, but kept talking. “I don’t think I feel about you the way a person should feel about someone she’s going to spend the rest of her life with. I don’t know, maybe this is how I should feel, but I’m not sure.” Willow looked up, her heart breaking at the look on her girlfriend’s face.

“I do know this,” Willow said. “I can’t make that commitment until I know for sure.” She took Kennedy’s hand. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“Are you telling me to go?” Kennedy said, her voice breaking.

“You don’t have to,” Willow said. “I don’t want you to go, but I can’t ask you to stay. Even if our relationship ends, there’s still a place for you here.”

“That’s it then?” Kennedy said. “That’s all you have for me? ‘A place?’”

Willow lowered her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she repeated.

Kennedy pulled away from Willow’s hold, and returned to the house alone.

v v v v v v v v v v v v

Giles and Xander lingered long after the party was over, catching up and learning all they could about Oz’s new life. By the time they left to return to the hotel, Xander had made arrangements to meet up with the circus at the beginning of March, and do building and repair until they headed out in the spring.

Giles suggested they stop by the hotel bar for a drink, and Xander was so astonished by the suggestion he could only nod.

“I’m very proud of you, Xander,” Giles said when they’d been served. “I know I don’t tell any of you that often enough, but I was thinking perhaps I should.”

Xander’s earlier astonishment paled beside this new revelation, and he froze, waiting for Giles to continue, and yet not wanting the moment to end.

“In some ways we’re very much alike,” Giles said musingly. “Without a birthright or supernatural powers, we have both taken the Slayer’s mission as our own. But even I was born to it, cultivated to be a Watcher from a young age. You were nearly grown when thrust into the thick of it. Other men, lesser men, would have walked away.”

Giles took a sip of his drink, and Xander did, too, hoping to steady himself.

“You’ve grown into a fine man,” Giles said. “I only hope you are aware of that yourself.”

“I… thank you,” Xander said, his voice hushed.

“So, off to Venice, then,” Giles said, abruptly changing the subject. “Are you looking forward to getting back to the carpentry work?”

“Uh… yes, I am,” Xander said. “I miss working with my hands.”

v v v v v v v v v v v v

Willow stayed in the shed until driven inside by the cold. She found Buffy and Dawn most of the way through their final film of the evening and dazedly joined them, watching in silence.

“I don’t like that flute girl,” she said after a few minutes. “She’s so vulgar.”

“Kennedy’s upstairs,” Buffy said.

“Did she tell you?” Willow asked.

“Sort of,” Dawn said.

“We got the gist,” Buffy said.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes. “Is she packing?” Willow asked, her voice small.

“She didn’t say,” Buffy said, her tone filled with sympathy.

“I guess it doesn’t matter,” Willow said. “If she isn’t, she will be soon.”

“There’s still time,” Buffy said. “I know sometimes when you say it out loud, it clears your head, and you realize what you said wasn’t how you really feel. When Riley left…”

“No, it’s not that,” Willow said. “I did mean what I said. I just wish I hadn’t had to say it. I didn’t want to hurt Kennedy, but…”

“I know,” Buffy said. “It’s up to her, now.”

v v v v v v v v v v v v

Giles and Xander entered the cottage’s front hall and dropped their bags. That is, Xander dropped his while Giles put his carefully down. The house smelled of stale popcorn and curry and wine, and throw pillows and lap blankets were strewn around the den. There was no sound of anyone in the house.

Giles had just begun a cursory examination of the downstairs when the front door opened and Buffy and Dawn came in carrying bags of groceries.

“Welcome back,” Buffy said. “We were just re-stocking the larder.”

“So I see,” Giles said. “I trust your weekend was… uneventful.”

Buffy and Dawn exchanged looks.

“Well, not really,” Buffy admitted.

“Willow and Kennedy broke up,” Dawn blurted.

“Oh, no,” Xander said. “Where’s Willow?”

“She called the coven,” Buffy said. “Some kind of transitional, letting-go, breakup cleansing or whatever. Something with burning herbs and neck massage, she said.”

“Is she okay?” Xander said.

“As okay as she can be,” Buffy said. “I’m glad the coven was here to help her re-direct the negative energy.”

“It was getting kind of… humid,” Dawn said.

“What about Kennedy?” Giles asked.

“Gone,” Buffy said. “Called Faith and left on the train this morning.”

“Poor Wills,” Xander said.

“Yes, it’s a pity,” Giles said. “Still… hardly a surprise.”

The others nodded in agreement, and slowly moved into the kitchen. Buffy and Dawn unpacked the groceries and Buffy began directing the preparation of the meal, every so often referencing printouts from easycooking.com.

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[> Re: New Fanfic: Two Hearts- Conclusion -- Kuzibah, 18:28:43 02/12/04 Thu (68.80.18.137)

“So how was the wedding?” Dawn asked. “Was Bema nice?”

“Very nice,” Giles said. “Rather quiet, like Oz. An acrobatics performer.”

“Pretty, too,” Xander said. “Black hair. We took pictures.”

“I can’t believe he’s with a circus,” Buffy said.

“We met a number of the performers,” Giles said. “They do seem very fond of him.” He glanced over at Xander, who took the in.

“I’m actually doing some work for them next month,” he said casually. “They’re wintering near Venice, need some carpentry work done.”

”Xander, that’s great!” Buffy said.

“Can I go, too?” Dawn asked.

“No,” Buffy said.

“But Xander will be there…”

“No.”

“We can’t at least discuss it?”

“Maybe later,” Buffy said. “Like when you’re forty.”

They heard the front door open and close, and a pale, exhausted-looking Willow stepped into the kitchen doorway. “Hey,” she said.

Xander opened his arms to her and she stepped into the circle of them. He folded her into an embrace and she pressed her cheek to his chest, her eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“Oh. Wills,” he said quietly. “I’m so sorry.”

And her tears began to fall.


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