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Date Posted: 12:43:22 01/27/00 Thu
Author: Drunken Midge
Subject: A new contestant enters!!!!!!!!!!

THE LIGHTS DIM AND THEN PYROTECHNICS GO OFF NEXT TO THE ENTRANCE TO THE ARENA! THE THEME FROM DAWSONS CREEK BEGINS TO BLAST OVER THE SOUNDSYSTEM! "I DONT WANNA WAIT...FOR MY LIIIIIIFFFE TO BE OVVVVVVVVEEEEEEER!!!" AND INTO THE ARENA STAGGERS DRUNKEN MIDGE THE MIDGET WEARING HIS RICHARD SIMMONS STYLE AMERICAN FLAG SHORTS AND TANK TOP WITH THE SPARKLIES ON IT! DRUNKEN MIDGE CARRIES A HALF EMPTY BOTTLE OF JACK DANIELS AS HE STUMBLES TOWARD THE RING.

Ladies and gentleman! Please welcome the Midget Fisting All Star Hero of the United States,.....Midge!!!!! Midge stands at 3'9 and weights about 75 pounds. He enjoys long walks on the beach and being anally fisted by busty porno stars!!!

AT THIS POINT MIDGE KICKS THE ANNOUNCER IN "THE GOODS" AND TAKES THE MIC

Listen up you ass ponies!! I am the god of wrasslin' and the king of porn!! So lick my tiny little balls!! I am willing to take on any of you pussies in a to the death cage match! If you dont have the balls to fight me..then your a stupid little man, brother!!

THEN MIDGE VOMITS AND PASSES OUT ON THE FLOOR AND IS CARRIED OUT BY PARAMEDICS

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