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Date Posted: 19:43:26 04/01/00 Sat
Author: LUXTON
Author Host/IP: spider-wm083.proxy.aol.com / 205.188.199.188
Subject: HEY TRUMPET MAN (COPYRIGHT 1994)

After several inquiries last night during the chat regarding my piece on the Jazz Speak album, I said I'd post the transcript...well here it is...the album nowadays is almost impossible to find, but I assure you all, I verbally deilivered this with extreme passion...I hope some of you can sympathize with my point of view...this piece is pretty scathing, but this is a matter which still makes my blood boil..obviously the name of "you know who" has been changed to "trumpet man" for various reasons...by the way, I'll just bet that Hawk and Roast Beef will really enjoy this one....well, here goes....


HEY TRUMPET MAN

Hey Trumpet Man...Hey Man...like what's the problem ? like WHAT IS THE BIG PROBLEM ? Like, do you ever look into the mirror ? Like, do you ever read anything you've said after it's appeared in print? Like, you really don't mean all those things you say on television, do you ?
Hey Trumpet Man...Hey BRUTHAH...like, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM ? I hear you pray for your brother because he's sunk to the depths of Sting's band...do mathematics give you the ticket to the judgement seat ? You think you've HELPED jazz ? Hey bruthah, you've done more AGAINST jazz than anyone in recent memory...you seem to have forgotten what music was, motherfucker...music came from the first upright primate who got up and hit a rock with a twig or a limb and made the rest of the tribe FEEL GOOD...got that BRUTHAH ? made the rest of the tribe FEEL GOOD ! HEY TRUMPET MAN...'dja hear me BRO...MADE THE REST OF THE TRIBE FEEL GOOD !!!!!!!
Arrogance never makes anyone feel good except POSSIBLY ITS PRACTITIONER ! HEY TRUMPET MAN, 'ja hear me ? Webster defines "arrogance" as " THE OFFENSIVE EXAGGERATION OF ONE'S OWN IMPORTANCE "... Hey TRUMPET MAN...BINGO !
How DARE you CLAIM music in general definition for your own personal structure ? Oh go ahead, claim the mathematical crown this year or this decade or this century...you're welcome to it...you see, the early shamans and tribesmen never fought for or even CONSIDERED the mathematical side of music...they had no need for it...they were still interested in making the REST OF THE TRIBE FEEL GOOD ! Hear me BRO...? MAKING THE REST OF THE TRIBE FEEL GOOD !
Louie Louie by the Kingsmen wipes out everything you've ever done. It's got some soul. Wonderful World by Sam Cooke soars to heights you are unable to imagine. It astounds me how ignorant someone can remain after so much study...plain and simple TRUMPET MAN...you got no soul...you don't make compassionate people feel good...matter of fact you don't even GET TO compassionate people. Louie Louie makes tens of millions of us feel good...Wonderful World can put tens of millions of us into somewhat a state of grace...
Hey Trumpet Man, you'll NEVER GET THERE...you should be teaching algebra !
Hey Trumpet Man...Johnny and the Hurricanes make millions of us FEEL GOOD ! Hey TRUMPET MAN, Hey BRUTHAH...know what else makes ME feel good ? My friend in Vancouver told me he was at a Miles Davis concert up there and you just casually walked out onto the stage, uninvited, only to have Miles stop the band until you left...
Hey TRUMPET MAN...BRUTHA...hearing that story makes me feel good...nice goin' Miles...Miles is like Sam Cooke and Aretha Franklin...he's got soul...
By the way Trumpet Man...where were you when they gave out heart and soul...polishing your CLASSICAL MUSIC GRAMMYS ?
Hey Trumpet Man...a lot of people seem to discuss your virtuosity...seems to me that's kinda like being at a great party sitting around getting excited about why the base angles of an Isoceles triangle are equal...Hey Trumpet Man, you just don't get it, do you ? Eddie Van Halen is a virtuoso too ! So is everyone responsible for "Parents Just Don't Understand" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince...speaking of the word Prince...THERE'S a musical visionary...WHEN DOVES CRY toasts your entire career, your entire spirit, the entire IDEA OF YOU ! Hey Trumpet Man, you just don't get it, do you ?
Jazz is inherently more of an elitist form...it evolved that way on purpose...but the great jazz people all have soul, and oddly enough, even the ones who get out the furthest seem to have some soul or eventually revert to a place steeped in passion...case in point..."Forest Flower" with Charles Lloyd and Keith Jarret trading in the middle over a simple, Latin, "La Bamba"-esque passage...Hey Trumpet Man...YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YOU ? Stanley Clarke and Al DiMiola laughed at Gene Loves Jezebel on stage at the Apollo Theatre...I was there...I saw it...but at least they kept it to themselves...Ray Brown laughed at a young Canadian singer/pianist guesting on the Merv Griffin show because his interpretation of a swing standard called SHINY STOCKINGS was so unhip...but it didn't happen in print or on camera, thereby becoming a matter of permanent record...
Hey Trumpet Man...listen to "Johnny B. Goode" or "I'm Your Hoochie Coochie Man" by Dion Dimucci sometime...THAT'S SOUL, bruthah...but you don't get it, do you ?

Hey Trumpet Man...a cow knows how to eat grass, but it DOESN'T KNOW THAT IT KNOWS... Hey Trumpet Man...arrogance is as arrogance does...Olympic class arrogance, SUCH AS YOURS, brings with it a subtle, pathetic kind of blindness...all arrogance is OBSOLETE...musical arrogance is particularly subversive, bruthah...
Hey Trumpet Man...you just don't get it, do you...? Arrogance is what initially bred hideous words like "PECKERWOOD AND NIGGER"...

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Replies:

[> Re: HEY TRUMPET MAN (COPYRIGHT 1994) -- Brit, 21:14:06 04/01/00 Sat [1] (spider-wg062.proxy.aol.com/205.188.196.47)

Wow! I could see the steam coming off my computer monitor. Remind me never to piss you off, Burt!
All kidding aside, there were many times I wish I had the forum and voice to do what you did. If we're just a bunch of lemmings and go with the flow, we may not get any heat but we lose something more valuable. We lose our freedom to hold up mirrors to all the empirors walking around naked thinking they're looking good. I'm glad to know someone who's not afraid to speak out. Maybe you ruffled a few feathers and stepped on a few toes. But so damn what!! Luv ya, Doll...you're one in a million!


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[> Re: HEY TRUMPET MAN (COPYRIGHT 1994) -- SECT-SY, 21:32:01 04/01/00 Sat [1] (userma038.videon.wave.ca/207.161.228.58)

You get it, Piano Man...more so everyday.!


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[> Re: HEY TRUMPET MAN (COPYRIGHT 1994) -- Roast Beef, 22:30:14 04/01/00 Sat [1] (217.cleveland-01-02rs.oh.dial-access.att.net/12.76.72.217)

Whew man did you let it rip! Must have been quite a cathartic experience. I don't think I'd have had the balls to lambaste the trumpet man the way you did. Yours gotta be HUGE!


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[> [> Re: HEY TRUMPET MAN (COPYRIGHT 1994) -- AW, 23:13:44 04/01/00 Sat [1] (proxy-662.public.rwc.webtv.net/209.240.216.62)

> Whew man did you let it rip! Must have been quite a
> cathartic experience. I don't think I'd have had the
> balls to lambaste the trumpet man the way you did.
> Yours gotta be HUGE!

I ain't Touchin' that one!


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[> Re: HEY TRUMPET MAN (COPYRIGHT 1994) -- loveburton2, 16:11:26 04/02/00 Sun [1] (laura010-0097.splitrock.net/209.255.179.97)

If any of you guys are interested in trying to get a copy of JazzSpeak-A Word Collection, try www.dufflebag.com. I got mine from there last September. They had it available on cassette and cd.


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