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Date Posted: 17:00:51 12/06/02 Fri
Author: MATTYDEEMATTYDEEMATTYDEEMATTYDEE
Subject: IT'S MATTY dEE. . .M A T T Y d E E

[The scene opens with a blue screen. Yellow letters appear in the center of the screen.]

MATTY DEE
(repeat)

[a voice is heard]

BRITISH VOICE OVER: Hello, and good evening to everyone. (pauses) What? What was that you said? (pause) Copyright enfringment? It has been a thought that has crossed through the minds of my clients. But the WAR MACHINE ARMY isn't too worried about a wrestler, under the name, or at least, the same pronunciation, as MATTEY DEE. Mattey Dee, with an 'e' and a 'capitol d'. Hasn't Mr. dee already informed you of the proper way to address the greatest _WORLD'S_ champion in atheletic history. Or maybe you haven't paid any attension. Well, fortunatly, that fool, wrestling in a "chair shot match up" was Mattey Dee not Matty dee. And it is as simple as that. I was so embarrassed for my clients. Mr. dee was absoulutly crushed that someone would actually try to pull shickanery of that nature. Ah well, I am a lonely voice, I know I am probably boring you to death, so I'll lend it over to my clients.

[The blue screen disolves into the enterior of an elegant ballroom. The camera pans up to a crystal chandelier that falls right above the foot of a cirular white stair case. The entire house is white, from the furniture to the carpeting. From both ends of the shot, MATTY dEE and THE DAN ANDERSON meet at the foot of the stairs. The Dan stands wearing a green t-shirt and black dress pants, Matty stands to his right wearing a black t-shirt that reads, "HARDCORE WRESTLING SUCKS", and a pair of blue and yellow Adidas pull-aways. Matty dee's head is bandaged and has a light purple ring around his left eye. He still has the same arrogent smirk on his face.]

=MATTY dEE= (raising, then dropping his arms pointing to the floor) You know what The Dan? It looks as if the WAR MACHINE ARMY has a crisis on it's hands. And that _CRISIS_ is the fact that someone came onto that Saturday Night _CRAP_, claiming to be me, and then losing to DICKY AIKMAN in a, (pause) chair shot match?

[Dan shrugs looking at his bandages]

=Md= Okay hold on a second. Hardcore wrestling _SUCKS!_ Frankly, it's for the f#%king birds. I mean, why go out there, punch and kick, then throw eachother into s#!t?! It's so stupid and _TIRED!_ I thought that this company was just 'hardcore', a wrestling company with that 'typical' gimmick, breaking tables, showing tits, and ass. But it's a damn good thing I didn't show up to HARDCORE PETE OF S#!T 1985, if I had, I wouldn't have even stepped foot in the ring in that kind of brutal and sadistic atmosphere. I am so over the whole hardcore, let's cut each other up attitude. I want to actually compete with a sportsman, a true athelete. Not some of these morons, like THE KOTTONMOUTH KING. Somehow, ol' Cottonmouth Balls won that U.S. title, and then, some dude in a mask came out of no where, that _SAME_ guy, claiming to be me, attacks you. It wasn't me.

[The Dan shakes his head smiling]

=Md= It's wasn't me, but I still hate you! Yeah, I _HATE_ you.

THE DAN ANDERSON: Hate is a strong word Cottonballs.

=Md= It is, and coming up on this little get together coming up on Saturday night, in Denver, Colorado...the _ARM PIT_ on the United States...yeah, I'll go ahead and take your title. But in _NO WAY_...NO WAY, am I stepping in a ring wrapped up in barbed wire. So Mr. President, get your junk in line. The WAR MACHINES don't do hardcore, _ANYTHING._ I am the greatest world's champion in the history of ever! And I didn't get to this type of, status quoe by standing around, moving slow, and lacking _PURE_ wrestling talent, !hask!. I became this great by "locking up" and reversing holds, being too fast for a human's eye. Fast enough for only aliens to see and s#!t like that. I am sure you fools have not been trained well enough for me yet. I guess since that _IMPOSTER_ showed up at the Pay Per View, you f#%king idiots have gotten the wrong impression of me.

The DA: _NO_ idea.

=Md= This is not a game to us. We're here to make money, and a lot of it. The championships just go along with it. In all honesty, whether all of you ingrates want to believe it or not, money is what _GETS_ you the gold! Mr. Mike Johnson has found out what the greenbacks can do for a crappy, slumping wrestling company!! I am going through _EVER_ MCW superstar there is, and all I want to do is win. That's it. The War Machines' plan is simple. Kottonmouth King is going to be the _FIRST_ match in MATTY DEE's, (pauses and infesises) Matty dee. Me, Matty dee's run to the very top of the line here in the MCW. Before you all will know it, you'll have to go through me to do anything around here. Trust me.

The DA: Nobody in this recockulous company is better.

=Md= To simply put it, Matty dee is better than you. Repeat.

The DA: Matty dee is better than you.

=Md= No bulls#!t. Unitied States title or not, Kottonmouth gets taken out, and I'll get the duke. AH-HUM YES!

[Both men then stand in a pose flexing as the camera fades to black. White letters appear on the screen.]

Remember
it's MATTY DEE
Who's
MATTEY DEE?

[the letters disolves. end.]

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