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Date Posted: 23:49:17 12/07/02 Sat
Author: The War Machine Army
Subject: Hey, Don't Do Drugs

[The scene opens with a blue screen. Yellow letters appear at the center of the screen reading]

WHO’S MATTY DEE?
MATTY DEE IS
BETTER THAN YOU

[the letters dissolve. A voice is heard]

BRITISH VOICE OVER: Finally I see that the WAR MACHINE ARMY’s point has gotten across quite well. DAMAGE INCORPORATED. *hmph* Sounds very scary, to most mortal men. I don’t think that all of these bafoons realize that they are dealing with a man that could care less how many people are affiliated with THE KOTTONMOUTH KING, some rude drug abuser who is some how champion of the United States. So typical, the United States that is, letting a man who smokes marijuana for non medicinal purposes carry gold. What kind of an organization is this? And the people come to watch these imbeciles perform in the squared circle nightly? This is getting more and more ridiculous. Apart from me being so cross towards these men, I guess you could say that I also feel sorry for them. It’s funny sometimes in this business that a quote-unquote “stable” is formed in a company after all of the members have gold around their waists, or are about to win gold. You all are a bloody mess. Damage Incorporated has stepped into a ring of fire, prepared to get burned. Here are my clients now, planning on igniting that flame.

[The blue screen fades to black. The darkness dissolves into training facility. The camera pans around this room with mirrors covering every inch of the walls. Smoke fills the entire facility. Many different work out benches, both manufactured and created, endless racks of weights, and two knotted, climbing ropes hanging from the ceiling above. The sounds of metal clanging and coughing are heard in the background. The camera pans over to the right a bit more as you see MATTY DEE and THE DAN ANDERSON sitting on their respective benches, with their backs to the camera. Matty turns a bit so you can see his profile as he inhales a bubble of smoke. Matty then hands something out of the camera’s view to The Dan. He turns a bit more to see the camera and chokes. Smoke explodes out his nose and he begins coughing hysterically. He moves out of the camera’s view as The Dan keeps raising his hand to his mouth. Matty then slides right in front of The Dan, blocking the camera from whatever The Dan’s doing. Matty wears a blue t-shirt and American flag designed work out pants. Sweat pours from his brow as he whips it from his squinted, blood shot eyes.]

=MATTY DEE= So what? I guess MCW can bring a cameraman into the private training quarters of the War Machine Army?

[you hear The Dan coughing]

=Md= What is this anyway? We’re trying to get some things done around here, and you Mr. Cameraman barge up in this piece obviously trying to get words from me. Well, it looks as if you succeeded buddy. Here I am bitching to you, are you happy now? S#!t.

[The Dan then gets up and stands beside Matty. He wears a white tank top and black shorts.]

=Md= (looking over towards The Dan) Guess we’ll have to save the rest of that for later because right now I have got a few things on my mind. It starts with KOTTONMOUTH KING and the Metallica bangin’ crew DAMAGE INCORPORATED. One word, joke. A second? How about, loser. All of you morons are the same. You all get together once you win all the gold and then create the illusion that all twenty stable-mates, or whatever the f%&k, are the best in this entire company. You have STATIC-X or XSTATIC, on his way to be the what? The Fatchicks.com champion? Good for you and your crew Kottonbitchass. The only thing I can imagine this fruit is ecstatic about is seeing a fat sack of nuts. I am not impressed thus far. And LITTLE MAN, oh and LITTLE J too, yeah, former MCW Tag Champs. Well, I can’t imagine how long it took you guys to come up with those names.

THE DAN ANDERSON: Pussies.

=Md= Boy you said it. There’s like four tag teams in Damage Incorporated. What the f%&k?!

The DA: More like Kids Incorporated, because that is what we’re pretty much dealing with here. I bunch of little kids that need to get a beat down from you my friend.

=Md= Hey I am not going to back down, you aren’t currently competing Deuce, but I could give a s#!t. I don’t think I am going to need your fantastic wrestling abilities to take out these boring holes. All they do probably is sit around and, “blaze”, as they say, then play X-Box all night until the next show. Damage Incorporated is a waste of my time, and should be a waste to all of these idiots that come out to see them. But, of course, wrestling fans are mark ass bustas that don’t know a f%&king bird from a plane.

The DA: I hate wrestling fans.

=Md= Oh but Kottontits also mentioned someone else, the MCW Unified Champion, CRUSHER. What do you crush my friend? What exactly do you crush? Perhaps maybe you stick a can in between those two fat titties of yours and crush a beer can or three? When it comes down to it, you of all of these little bastards are one that I can literally laugh at and say, “who the f%&k is this bitch?”.

[The Dan laughs.]

=Md= I have said it before and I’ll say it again, I don’t give a s#!t about the United States title, and I don’t care about the original member of Damage Incorporated. Frankly whether it be TRUMAN SKYDIVE, THE FALLEN, JAMES JONES, or THE UNKNOWN, Damage Incorporated, unfortunately for you punks, it looks like you’re going to be the first victims of this in-ring drive by performed by Matty dee of the War Machine Army. It’s just me and Deuce here. You pussies I know will be in full force on Saturday Night’s Main Event. That’s all gravy to us.

The DA: It’s all kinds of gravy.

=Md= I don’t wrestle in barbwire matches. I don’t.

The DA: Barbwire is for pussies. Breaking glass is for pussies. _HARDCORE_ is for pussies that don’t know how to truly compete in the squared circle, without using the ring as a damn torture chamber of wrestlers with no skills.

=Md= Exactly. Kottonf%&k, I have a challenge for you dawg. Why don’t you go ahead and let me wrestle how I want to wrestle, after all, when the War Machines are on top, soon enough, you won’t have a choice but to go out every night and actually wrestle matches. None of that blood and guts crap. It’s tired. But if that’s how you want to go about doing things, fine, I am not putting my career in danger being that this will be MATTY DEE’s _FIRST_ MCW contest.

The DA: I still can’t believe that imposter guy.

=Md= I know right? He probably was someone that Damage Incorporated set up to come in. Just to try and piss me off, and also make me look bad. They succeeded on both parts I must admit. But I am _UNDEFEATED_ still, even though I have yet to wrestle a match, I am still undefeated.

The DA: Brilliant.

=Md= So take that sweet bitch ass Kottonmouth. Bring all of your buddies this Saturday as well, I am sure some of them have their respectful matches, if you want to call it respectful. I call it boring. I am probably just going to take the U.S. championship, and then put it up on my wall in my bedroom. Just another plaque on the walls of Casa de Matty. You just get your mind right and tell the technicians to cut that barbwire s#!t off so we can get down to business. I don’t want to have to make a scene. I _WILL NOT_ wrestle in that garbage, I won’t.

The DA: It’s useless.

=Md= Well, I am done here, Mr. Cameraman, you can scoot on out of here now, we gots to continue our daily regiment. I’ll be there on Saturday night. You can come meet up then if you wish, but until then, get the out., because Matty dee is better than you. Doing drugs is bad Kottonmouth King, _BAD!_

The DA: Don’t do drugs kids.

=Md= Uh-hum yes.

[The camera fades to black. End.]

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