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Date Posted: 15:00:29 11/07/02 Thu
Author: Thurman Skydive
Subject: So It Was Me

(A cold wind blows across the parking lot of the Hartford Civic Centre as the backstage door opens, and a small cluster of journalists rush towards it, seeing which member of the MCW roster is exiting the arena. It's Thurman Skydive, the man who returned to MCW just hours earlier. He draws his jacket closer to him against the chill, and shrugs his bag over his shoulder. He looks set to leave, but doesn't get more than a few steps before some of the reporters start to pepper him with questions. At first he looks inclined to ignore them, but it becomes apparent that he isn't getting to his car unimpeeded without humouring them a little...)

Reporter: So Thurman, tonight you made your return to MCW!!

Skydive: You've waited out here in the cold, had all that time during the show to think...and the best you could do is state the obvious?
Yeah, I'm back. I had my pretty little ring entrance, I walked my way to the ring, and got to look into the face of the same idiot that pissed me off so many times before. I'm back...and I get to look at Cypher some more. Hey Cypher! Remember me ya jackass? I don't give a damn whether you remember me, whether you've been beaten up too many times, or whether I'm just not important enough to remember. Either way, I'm back, and I'm gonna piss you off all over again!

Reporter: You didn't let me finish...I wanted to ask how it feels to be back!

Skydive: Oh just swell, it's fantastic. I mean, I resurface...I get to be bugged by little proletarians like you! This is the pinnacle of my career right here!

Reporter: Sarcasm is the lowest form of...

Skydive: And little people trying to get under my skin when I'm in a damn foul mood is the lowest form of...the lowest form of being a damn jackass! How the hell do you think it feels to be back. I train and I train, I work and work...bust my damn ass...and for what? Impact? I laugh in the face of impact. Mainly because I have to - mainly because I don't have any!

What the hell happened? I walk into the arena tonight all ready to beat the crap out of someone in a parking lot. I end up in a ring, surrounded by a cell and trick or treat bullsh*t. I didn't walk away from my comeback match with a victory, instead I get misty crap spat into my face and I watch as Cypher got the crap kicked out of him, and lost the match to a deadbeat called Deadcell...

Reporter: We...

Skydive: You get that? Deadbeat...Deadcell...how was that for your lowest form of wit crap?

Reporter: Kind of fitting actually...moving on. You did indeed fail to win your comeback match...

Skydive: For cryin' out loud man! Have you actually got any questions? You've made a few obvious statements, then a couple of jerkoff statements. So far it's been me doing all the f'n work!
I failed to win...I did not stand with my hand raised in victory. But I want to make something shiny crystally clear - did I lose the man? Hell no! I didn't lose...am I in denial? Maybe, but what the hell is anybody gonna do about it? Nothing!

I had the match won! I hit my Skydive Slam, I had the pin...until Cypher broke up the count. Sure you can argue that Deadcell had me out cold with the Tazzmission after that, but it's irrelevant, the freakin' match should've been over. Then who the hell lost the match...cypher.Cypher.CYPHER!!

Reporter: Don't you think you're kind of...acting like a child over this?

Skydive: You mean you think I'm b*tching?

Reporter: Weeeell...

Skydive: B*tching, who really gives a crap! Cypher, I hope when you wake up you think long and hard about what you did tonight. I also hope you remember the consequences you suffered as a damn result. I will cave your skull in with a baseball bat if you do not quit screwing around with the career of the Thurmanator!

Another Reporter (barging the first one aside): But what about your future in MCW? You must've been happy with the response you received from the fans?

Skydive: It was nice yeah. Hearing them remember me was great I guess. But you wanna know the best part?

Another Reporter: Sure thing...

Skydive: Standing on the ropes hearing their 'response' to be levelling Cypher after the match. That was enjoyable. I liked it. I got a little too much of a thirst for laying out Cypher...

3rd Reporter: Somehow I sense you're a little stuck up on Cypher...

Skydive: I said before I came back that I only get one shot at it. He cost me that, and I don't appreciate it. I liked making him pay for it after the match tonight.
I sat preparing for my comeback, and I listened to him. He was full of self-pity, bemoaning this and that. Apparently he doesn't have competition. Apparently people don't listen to him. Apparently he's prevented from entering Canada for two months.
Well almighty Cyphallic one, I'm back, and if you want motivation, you damn sure got it. If you want competition, you damn sure got it. You got pinned by Deadcell, your barred from Canada...you're wallowing in your own self-delusional crap. Let me bring you out of it with a bang why don't ya? Make my day...so I can ruin yours!

(With this one statement, Thurman shoves the reporters aside, and moves briskly towards his car, slings his bag into the back seat, then climbs in the front and steams out of the lot...leaving the reporters hustling back towards the backstage exit...)

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