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Subject: 心情日记


Author:
。。。
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Date Posted: 15:19:53 12/15/04 Wed

那天,跟父母狠狠地吵了一架,原因是他们不肯让我去新加坡见薇。躺在床上,我努力让自己不哭,眼泪却不停地流,那时候我才警觉那新加坡之旅对我而言有多么的重要。哭了一下午,累了,睡了一整天,第二天还继续睡。把手机关上,不想和任何人说话,关了两天。但就像渐渐里的歌词眼泪干了只是盐,哭过没有感觉。真的没有感觉。心想薇还是会来马,我还是会有一次见她的机会。继续弄会服,继续担心会否有很多人会出席她的活动。12月12日,凌晨0点03分,收到短信:薇取消来马。我无言。该给什么反应呢?大脑停止运作。打电话过去,朋友说想骂人。我却连骂人的力气都没有。大脑继续处于冻结状态。薇说“幸福的时候我想哭,绝望的那一刻我笑了”我也笑了。无泪无语。我根本不介意做这一大堆的东西,我只想见她一面。我真的真的好想好想她。周围的一切都显得那么的讽刺。房间里的每个角落都能看到她。还有从新西兰买给她的礼物。真的好累,一点力气也没有。我还是笑了。自嘲。接到消息后我好像听到什么东西碎了。四周张望,满地的玻璃碎片还滴着血。身体内空空的像少了什么。会痛吗?不知道。痛,好像是要经过大脑传递才能感受到的。我还处于麻木状态。一切显得那么的讽刺。我依然无泪无语。

12/12/04
1.44am

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