Date Posted:Thu, Oct 04 2007, 17:45:10 Author: Hony Tudson Subject: Caught In The Wire
STITCH & ROBLARDS: NEW ALBUM IS, DARE WE SAY, "BLOODY GOOD"
By Charles Maar Shurray
(Full stops by Nick Kent)
Although he has been technically dead for about 76 years, Gharrold Roblards, ex-Bhundu Girls and the ARE YOU BEING SERVED? movie, has somehow risen like a Leicestershire Lazarus, to contribute vocals on the short-awaited new Stitch/Roblards album, UP IN WEST BROMWICH. Guitarist/kazooist/flautist Dhyllern Stitch recently escaped from a rehab centre in Moss Side in order to marry supermodel and tambourinist Matie Koss, and although she was killed in a bizarre kebab-related accident last week, Stitch has put aside his grief to get this great album done. Based on Homer's ILYAD, it features Roblards barking great sections of the great bloke's text out over the air, to the accompaniment of a decidedly McLaughlin-esque non-stop Stitch guitar track, interwoven with a very pretty turqoise bandana loaned from Bob Dylan. In fact, The Zim plays spoons on the album's longest track, the 2 minutes and 32 second "Why In The Fuck Did You Knacker Up My Vocoder When I Lent It To You In '77?", a kind of Clash-meets-Brotherhood of Man number, featuring Jean-Jacques Burnel on bass and tea-making duties. Roblards and Stitch both have tragic histories of mental illness, but, as with all great artists, unhappiness becomes sonic brilliance with the sublime "I Lost My Marbles When You Kicked Me In The Yarbles, You CND-Supporting Slag", which is basically "We Built This City On Rock N Roll" backwards, but with several grams of cocaine rammed up its musical arse. (Trivia: Starship contribute backing vocals on Stitch's lament to an old friend, "Oh Mike, Why Did You Have To Wear That Crap 1980s Moustache, Mate?"). While I didn't like the Stitch and Roblards albums AXEL ON MAIN STREET, SAVED or DEAD CARP WALKING, this one hits the spot. Great. Buy it for yer grannie and watch the old cow shit herself!!!
