| Subject: Majidah's Musings |
Author:
Majidah
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Date Posted: 21:34:46 02/22/02 Fri
22nd day of Ysai'kiem
Enrty Nineteen
It has, again, been a great while since I've last written. I'm not even sure where to start, but here it goes. Although I doubt I'll ever forget the day, it is something to be written down and kept forever. Cricket has returned. I was in such shock that day, it is hard to remember much.. I only recall the overwhelming relief I felt. She came not as one, but well with child. A boy she named Trevor, when he was born. I have never been tolerant with children, even when I was one.. but I find it easy now to be caught up in the look on his face, and the way he wraps his tiny hand around my finger. Makiha would never believe such a thing.. but I can see Anazeh saying she knew I'd grow soft all along. She liked to think she was a good judge of that sort of thing. I have brought Cricket a slavegirl named Safiya to help around the Roost and with the baby. Mostly though, I wanted to give Indigo companionship in a woman she could perhaps relate to. Maybe I want a replica of Cricket and myself.. the less dangerous version, I suppose. I don't know.. I'm forever second-guessing what I do now. I can't explain the feeling I get when walking into the Roost these days.. just knowing that I'm to be greeted by Cricket is an incredible feeling that I shall never take for granted again. I still wonder sometimes if this is only a temporary stay for her.. if tomorrow I'll wake up to a note telling of another disappearance. I hope not.. I don't think I could go through that again. I hope she knows that. I like to think it will never happen again.. but there are thoughts that still torment her sometimes. I can tell. The Traveller might someday return to take Trevor away from us.. sometimes at night I'm awakened by the thought, and it doesn't go away until I take a look into the attic to make sure she and the baby are still there. If we're lucky.. it may not come to pass, so here I'll add another prediction for my old age. I doubt seriously I'll ever have a child of my own. Seeing Trevor grow will be enough for me. Someday, I think, I will give him this journal if he is ever curious about my past, and about what my life has been like with Cricket in all the years past. I won't presume to say that I'll ever be as wise as Ahkil was when he was killed, but I hope whomever reads this in the future will be able to learn something from this journal. Otherwise, I suppose, my writing would be in vain. Ta'kienta.
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