| Subject: Majidah's Msuings |
Author:
Majidah
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Date Posted: 15:04:36 09/22/01 Sat
22nd day of Sacr'askan
Entry Eight
Much has happened since last I wrote.. but it would take too much time to go over it all. I have other things plaguing my thoughts. Tarek is back, after running off with the pain of knowing Ciro had returned; and that Cricket loves him more than she could love any other man. He came to us at a dockside dive upon finding the note Cricket left for me. I gathered the men were, atleast, not lieing about having known him, and apparently told him I missed him like crazy. I did. He looked on Cricket with so much affection it nearly made me choke.. for even I felt the heat of his gaze upon her. I need Ahkil's council more than anything. Especially now.. for Cricket has told me her own past mentor is back. Not at all like Ahkil, he gives her 'tests'. Tests which nearly manage to kill her. I would fight him, but of course Cricket is against it. She seems to think he is much too powerful a foe for me to go up against. It is always so. Every time I stand to defend her, she is against it. It hurts my pride, yes. Just once I wish her not to think me weak. I have fought an won against the odds many times. And how should she know he is so much better than I? I should like to hear her tell me "Do this, Faizah. I know you can handle it well." I am not a bitch dog vying for approval, but I feel I've earned that much. In her mind it seems I'm inferior to the Kindred, Cage, Ciro, Mantis.. hell, I wouldn't be suprised next she told me to be careful of Indigo because 'she doesnt want to see me dead'. I wonder how she finds me in good company, considering these grand champions of times past. But perhaps she treated them much the same? I don't know.. it may be because shes never seen me up against anything difficult. But I don't show off, and I wouldn't. Not even for this purpose. I wonder though what Ahkil would say.. many times he told me that I have to prove them wrong to get my respect, that I will always be looked down upon unless I gave them reason to see me as otherwise. At other times he's told me that it doesn't matter what others see me do. Respect isn't always earned through fighting. It can come from words, too. I guess the true wisdom lies in knowing when to apply which. Thank you, my matua. Ta'kienta.
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