getting to know the FUTURE.. -- NACW Roleplay Board

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 16:25:55 03/16/00 Thu
Author: Cyric Logan
Author Host/IP: NoHost / 212.43.170.131
Subject: getting to know the FUTURE..

(The scene is simple. The camera begins on a, empty King-sized bed and pans around what is apparently a bedroom, the walls absolutely covered, wallpapered, plastered, not an inch of free space left, with "The FUTURE" CYRIC LOGAN posters and photographs, and even a couple Cyric Logan action figures hanging around, including the new Cyric Logan-EWA three-pack featuring World Champion Cyric Logan, NACW Owning CYRIC LOGAN, and fire extinguisher wielding CYRIC LOGAN . There are posters featuring LOGAN as a European Champ sporting the phrase "Better Than You, Better Than Europe", LOGAN smiling beautifully at the camera, our friend "The FUTURE" hitting the TOUCHED BY GOD on someone whose face is hidden, even LOGAN in the nude covering his crotch with his hands. You get the idea. More LOGAN than is healthy for any single human being... So who could possibly have all of this in their bedroom? What living being on Earth could possibly withstand so much LOGAN at once without their heads exploding? Who is this mystery super-man? Well, you find out as the camera finishes its pan of the room and lands on the bed where it began, but this time the bed isn't empty -- rather, you now find out that this room belongs to none other than the man perched on the edge of his bed, everyone's hero, everyone's friend, everyone's MESSIAH, "THE FUTURE" CYRIC LOGAN himself!)

LOGAN: Welcome, everyone, to the new LOGAN-topia! Once I've forgiven you for all your sins, this is where you will come. See, I'm even better than Jesus. He just forgave you, but I'm forgiving you AND giving you a Heaven you can be proud of! I know I am. I mean, how could I not be, just look at me... I'm soooooo damn CUTE! Especially in action-figure form. I'm like a cute, mean li'l ass-kicker that can fit in your pocket and be taken anywhere... I'm freakin' adorable! Like those crazy Pokeyman things, but with better tag lines than "gotta catch 'em all." Heck, I'm so cute, even
Hitler couldn't resist pinching my cheeks, which isn't so unbelievable since I've got blonde hair and blue eyes. But I'm so cute, he'd still want to pinch my cheeks if I was Jewish. Granted, he'd also still want to horribly slaughter me, but that's got nothing to do with being cute. Anyway, getting back to ME... what was I gonna say? Oh, yeah, I'm great. Aren't I great? I think I'm great. And being as great as I am, I have but one thing to say... Who in the name of Jesus H. LOGAN do these BOZO PRESIDENTS think they are!!
Fight in a Cruiser WEIGHT tourney? No, no way. No way am I gonna do it. In fact, not only am I going to cop out on that match, but I'm going to insert myself, by sheer force of will, into the NACW's heavyweight Championship, WITHOUT stepping foot into my ring!!. And the funny part about that is, I could actually pull it off if I wanted to. I could find a way to get you morons to make me the main event in the NACW. It's not like you really have a main eventer of my absolute technical expertise, or charisma anyway, if there's no FUTURE in it its just not right!! I mean, it's like eating sugar cookies without any sugar in them. It's absolutely insane!

(LOGAN hops off his bed, and makes a broad gesture around his room.)

LOGAN: Just look at these posters for example. What wrestler has ever had so many poster-able catch phrases? The CUTTING EDGE in wrestling technology, THE FUTURE, Better Than You Better than GOD, the Epitome of Evolution.... how could a man of so very many titles and phrases and posters and popularity not be the main event? How is it that I get stuck fighting the biggest LOSERS in the whole wide world? I'll tell you how, walk this way...

(LOGAN then proceeds to lean as far backwards as he can and stick his crotch as far out as he can. He struts around to the other side of the bed and sits down beside a big, black chest. He opens the chest and begins pulling out various action figures. He holds up one of himself, one of CULVER, and one of the NACW Head.)

LOGAN: Now, you see, it went down like this. It was just another day in LOGAN-TOPIA, and I was walking along, minding my own business, tellin' folks the way it is and how I'm going to be their new Jesus. Then along comes this bozo...

(LOGAN makes the PREZ figure walk over to the LOGAN figure)

LOGAN: So, he comes over and goes, "Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo... oh, blah, blah, blah, I don't like you, so you're going to face some guy too unimportant to remember. Blah, blah, blah... Well, great! I mean, why not, He's already gone down more times than Monica Lewinsky. And the rest will fall to the FUTURE as well!!

(LOGAN breaks off the head of the CULVER action figure.)

LOGAN: CULVER-kins? Feelin' better? A couple days in the hospital fix ya up real nice? I should hope so. I should hope you're feeling better, because I want you to be in attendance to watch the match your bozo presidents signed for next card to spite me and the rest of the FUTURE's kagillions of Fanatics. Logan vs.the roster in a tourney?? Great, it'll be the best match of all time, until the next time I decide to grace the NACW fans with my ever so talented presence. And there must be a winner? Fine by me. There'll be a winner, I guarantee you that. And whether I have to fight another one of your backstage BOZO's or not, the winner's going to be the new ICON of the NACW, the FUTURE.. Like it or love it, folks, its the truth, and I can speak nothing but that to you.

Now, before everyone at home loses control of their bodily functions from such massive joy at the thought of seeing a match with the man that will lead the new ERA of NACW in it, allow me to remind you of this... if you're against me and joyously awaiting this match to see how the FUTURE is gonna fall apart,you're slightly more than wrong on that part. Obviously you haven't realized that the FUTURE is as cohesive as... as... like the dickens, and not only am I far from fallin' apart at this particular juncture, but I'll be comin' out on top, as usual. Just wait and see. It'll be grand. For the first
time in history, the superpower of the NACW is going to truly show you what he's capable of. To say that I, CYRIC LOGAN, will be that
winner is like saying RC Cola tastes better than Coke... They're both so good you just can't make a decision like that! On one hand, RC has a flavour that goes particularly well with potato chips and other snack items. Coke, on the other hand, has a more subdued flavour that comes out best when paired with starchier foods and dryer foods, and it's more thirst-quenching that RC. Come to think of it, Coke's wayyyyy better than RC. I Guess the FUTURE is as good as a delicious, icy Coca-cola (from the bottle, not a can.) IN fact, just forget that whole beginning statement I made. Lemme rephrase it. I can't say I'm as good as Coke, because I'm not a soft drink. There. That having been said, I think I'd better move on to another admirable point about me. I'm a take-control kinda guy, I like to think. You know, the kind of person who you can count on in a tough spot to bail you out because he'll always be thinking so much more clearly than you. I guess that is why the EWWF has signed me, their SAVIOUR and your HERO!! Now the the FUTURE has talked about the new ERA and believe me it HAS begun....but I REALLY, REALLY think you guys should check out your bookers!! I mean WOWSERS MAN how many losers can you put in the ring with the FUTURE? Oh yeah I guess the entire roster!! Now Mr. Prez and all the rest of you execs I truly believe that you can forget this while Tourney shin-dig thing and proclaim CYRIC LOGAN as the NACW's favourite CHAMPION, pass me the title and let the revenue from appearances roll in for all of us!! If not I'll just have to beat on down another BOZO who doesn't know his place in the NACW's new Hierarchy!! The FUTURE is here, the FUTURE is now, the FUTURE ain't jut better than you, I'm BETTER THAN GOD!!!!!

(fade to black)

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Re: getting to know the FUTURE.. -- hugo, 18:20:18 08/01/04 Sun
- Re: getting to know the FUTURE.. -- beth, 13:41:46 01/30/06 Mon