Miracles'r'me -- NACW Roleplay Board

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Date Posted: 18:01:29 03/19/00 Sun
Author: Cyric Logan
Author Host/IP: NoHost / 212.43.170.138
Subject: Miracles'r'me

(the scene is simple...even more so than the last Promo...the screen is pure white and a choir of heavenly voices are humming Colonel Bogey, as the light begins to dim a smirk is revealed....it is the million dollar smirk of everbodies hero, and NACW resident ICON CYRIC LOGAN...Logan as usual is sporting his own merchandise the now infamous BETTER THAN YOU, BETTER THAN GOD Tee, and a new FUTURE RULZ ball cap. Logan regards the crew and reaches into the knap sack he has next to him and reveals a really cheezy robe, complete with Mystic Stars and Moons on it.....)

LOGAN:Alright, Alright the simple fact of the matter is I've come out here to PROVE, once and for all, that I am the NEW Jesus. Messiah 2000. And you may be asking yourself, "Gee, I wonder how he plans on doing that?" Well, quite frankly, I have no idea. I figured I could just come out here and perform a couple miracles of God's love or something, show y'all that I'm better than you, and skidaddle. Hey, I've already turned boredom into RATINGS, so I guess now I'll try something else.... hmmmm...... OH, I GOT IT!

Hey, Chris, come over here.

(Chris strolls over to LOGAN and stands beside him with his arms crossed.)

LOGAN: Now, for my SECUNDO miracle tonight... I will attempt to LEVITATE Chris the Crew Guy using only the AWESOME POWER OF MY MIND!!!!

(Chris starts to laugh at LOGAN and shake his head.)

LOGAN: Do not laugh, Non-Believer, for thou shalt soon seeth the light which before thee lieth! Chris! Chri-FLOAT!

(LOGAN wiggles his fingers at Chris, but nothing happens.)

LOGAN: Hey! Float! Ehhhgh.... Chris, could you do me a favor and float, please.

(Chris shrugs)

LOGAN: One foot's good enough for me.

(Chris nods and obliges, hopping up and down on one foot.)

Chris: Is that all you need? I'm gettin' sick of standing here.

(LOGAN nods)

LOGAN: That will be all, my good friend. Now, you see the might that is "The FUTURE" CYRIC LOGAN. Please, feel free to bow, each and every one of you, and make many monetary donations to the Church of LOGANTOLOGY. Thank you, thank you very much!!

(Logan climbs out of the robe and tosses it aside, he flashes his million dollar smirk at the camera)

LOGAN: PER-RIIITY impressive eh!!?? Didn't think I could do it did you!! Now my third miracle is really easy considering the booking practices here in NACW Land, now also lovingly known as LOGAN-TOPIA...ANYHOOOO my third miracle was real simple, HEY KINDA like WILLIAMS himself!! It was going to be to turn water into WHINE!! And Lo and behold it ain't water, but my opposition sure is WHINING a whole lot!!

(Logan rolls his eyes)

LOGAN: "Did you really think I wouldn't accept?" Well let me answer that Mr. DAREDEVIL......OF COURSE we knew you'd turn up...its just that me and the NACW fans were hoping you'd forget, and sleep in instead of BORING us to death AGAIN!! But I guess we just weren't that lucky!! SOOOOO I was thinking to myself!! Cyric. I thunk, Cyric yuo know what would be the greatest miracle of them all....besides the Prez getting a sense of Style? It would be if you could get JOHNNY ....errrr........sorry you just ain't important enough to remeber you last name...OH YEAH Williams...if you could get him to look good in your ring with you!! And you know what....there are some feats EVEN to BIG for me!! JOHHNY-Boy!! You really got me worried with you little rant thing and the match, thing you did on Thursday.....NO I MEAN IT I was SCARED!! Wasn't I guys!!

(the camera moves up and down to indicate nodding from the crew)

LOGAN: And then you said some nasty things about me...how you were gonna *gulp* hurt me and stuff!! And How you were gonna bust me up and...HEY WAIT a SEC...this is a sport not a venue for sicko's!! Mr. Prez!! You guys heard it!! He's a maniac!! I really think you should get some proffesionals to have a look at this guy!! Its like a wicked case of LOGAN ENVY coupled with LOGAN-itis!! BUT there is a cure!! And that is the OHHHHHHHH twenty or thirty seconds I'm gonna need to mop the floor with this guy!! Who knows if we're all really lucky he might never open his mouth again....although the SURGEON GENERAL would be losing the greatest anasthetic of all time...HMMM...can't make an omlette without breaking a couple of eggs though, I guess!

(Logan scrunches up his face in a mock display of hard thought)

LOGAN: You know you those threats you made...might actually have meant something if you didn't just make 'em all up of the top of your head...in a FED of one...make that a half n your case WILLIAMS you might as well have claimed to be the SUPER DUPER Grand WHISMO CHAMPEEN of the Third spiral of the Intergalactic UNIVERSE!! And we'd all be REALLY REALLY impressed down here I can tell you!! BOTTOM LINE! The FUTURE is the NACW, the FUTURE is the new franchise player on the block!! I am the resident ICON, and if you don't like it learn to love it because the FUTURE is gonna be around for a long long time!! Now I tell you what...I'll let you bring a pencil and paper to the match so you can chronicle just how to be a celebrity athlete, and look good doing it! Because at the end of the day I am gonna give you a brief lesson in wrestling, humility, and looking really CUTE in the squared circle!! I say brief for the aforementioned reason........now John, I, because I am the bestest person in the whole wide world, I will give you the opportunity to aplogize for those crass remarks!! And maybe, just maybe I'll allow you to do a little HERO worship before I kick your ass?!?

(Logan pauses and by the look in his eye you can tell its catch phrase time!!)

LOGAN: Now it seems my catch phrase has gotten right up some peoples noses so I'll try a couple of new ones, and see how they fit.....hey you crew guys can tell me what you think?! AHEM: Cyric Logan because if your not Cyric your just not!!!

Crew: Nah, been done.

LOGAN: OK OK OK hows this one: Cyric Logan, I'm not just for breakfast anymore!!

Crew: ERRRRRR.....uh uh!

LOGAN: Because when Cyric Logan sits around the house, he REALLY SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!!

CREW: Hey that makes no--

LOGAN: Cyric Logan- MORE money, more power, just plain ole' more.

Crew: it just ain't you!!

LOGAN: CYRIC LOGAN!! RRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Crew: The T-Rex impression, I'd pass on it!!

LOGAN: AWWWWW SHOOOT!!! HEY I GOT ONE!! The FUTURE is here, the FUTURE is now, the FUTURE is....BETTER THAN YOU, BETTER THAN GOD!

Crew: Isn't that the one you use now!

LOGAN: Hey if it ain't broken, don't fix it! Besides the merchandise don't lie!!

(Logan flashes his smirk and points to his tee...the crew giggles as the screen fades to black)

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