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A remote camera begins to whir. Suddenly a door opens and Captain Howdy Walks in wearing nothing but a loins cloth and boots. He has blood all over his chest where fresh cuts have been made. A bloody Hardcore belt hangs over his shoulder. He has a few more rods pierced in his eyebrows and Bridge of his nose. He wipes the blood and licks his hand and laughs.
Captain Howdy:What has the President Cooked up for Captain Howdy this time? IS it that he wants his ratings to go down, so he has devised a way to get them back up. I mean with me Here I am the ratings. Hardcore is what you want in ratings. Yeah you have heard the other wanna bes I am the hardcore champion, I will make Captain Howdy Pay. DID THEY?? I ask you did they!! NO, I come by week after week with my title. NOW the Cooker wants a Guantlet match. Ten other men, OH I am so sorry 9 other men and One Champion Women have a chance to get a shot at the gold. I mean so if I make it thru 9 and Mary Pins me does that mean she fights herself?? I ask for only one reason, because NONE of these other people will pin ME!
Captain Howdy throws the Hardcore Belt on an old wooden table and turns a chair around to face the camera and sets down. He kicks the dirt on the floor and then looks up, smiling.
Captian Howdy: You gentle persons I have only respect for one participant in this match other than myself. You guessed Typhoid Mary! She is a woman after my own twisted and sick heart. But dear I leave you for last. But I start off with YOu Crusing Crippler!
Captain Howdy:Crushing Crippler You haven't felt the wrath of the Perverted One. YOu have only got to see on the monitor what I am capable of doing to the mere man. You people of faith and goody goody dont hold a candle to me. Come to my dreamy little world and I will set you free.
Captain Howdy: Fat Tony. You are just that. A fat Tub of goo that is pulsing with blood, which I will eventually shed. You don't know what the Cooker has put you in but I promise you this Fat Tony I am gonna fry your ass.
Captain Howdy:Johnny Dynamite, just that Explode you piece of trash. Your fuse is short and so is your chances in this Match of my liking. Stay Away Johnny You dont want any of this. The Perverted One is a powder Keg waiting to explode!
Captain Howdy:Now Pusherman, Hurricane and Punisher. I have what you want. That hardcore belt. The Howdy Belt!! You have all had your chance at it and fell way short. NOw you get a shot at not the hardcore belt, but me Captain Howdy. The one person that haunts your dreams, your days dark, and your nights darker. You look in the mirror and you see me staring back. You sleep and your dreams are filled with the pain that I have caused each and everyone of you! Now you seek revenge. Now you get your chance at taking me out. Will You band together? Will you suceed. Hurricane, Pusherman, Punisher, you couldnt band together to take out a door together. You can do what you want to try to beat me. You will not succeed. I will hunt you and finally set your spirits free.
Captain Howdy: Now Kid sinister, Dan, BBjones go away. Dont show up. You dont have what i Have in store for you in my little dreamy mind, and my bag of tricks. I have it all for you.
Captain Howdy:Now the true talent of this Match. Other than my sick self is none other than Typhoid Mary. You have what it takes to pin me. You are as sick if not sicker than I could ever be. But dont let that go to your confused mind Mary. NO, NO, NO, dont think that I am saying I am scared of you. NO I admire your ring ways and your messed up thought process. You can set back and watch and let us fight when I am done. Sounds cocky I know but Hell WHO cares. I have what it takes to take your title and you know it. They know it! I will be denied no longer. YOu will feel the Pain you like so much, I will be more than happy to deal it. Bring your best shot, your lighter fluid, anything you want. I dont care. If it is a disease I have had it. You dont scare me, you only almost rival me. SO to you and the rest. I feel a good push of emotional ruin coming. The closer it gets the more the feelings run. I am cracking I can feel it and when you least expect it People I will fu**ing snap and you well you just wait and see