Terrorist threat levels -- Scottish Ex-Pat's Blether Bar & Grill

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, [8], 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 16:32:23 01/12/11 Wed
Author: Margaret/U.S.A.
Subject:

Terrorist threat levels

For John Cleese fans (Monty Python alumnus):

Subject: Fwd: John Cleese Describes Foreign Security Levels for Terrorist Threats
>
> The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."
The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
>
>
> The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards."
> They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
>
>
> Canadians use English scale, except they start with, "Excuse Me!", while our highest level is to "Export Terrorists to Florida as Snowbirds" with a one way flag at all border crossings.
>
>
> The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender."
> The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
>
>
> Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
>
> The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
>
>
> Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
>
>
> The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
>
>
> Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
>
>
>

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Re: Terrorist threat levels -- Ani, 21:54:27 01/12/11 Wed
Re: Terrorist threat levels -- Gilly, 18:27:22 01/15/11 Sat
- Re:Ahmed the dead terrorist -- Ani, 22:39:41 01/15/11 Sat