Author:
ze lamer...(a bit tired, alright?)
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Date Posted: 02:40:01 02/10/03 Mon
In reply to:
Betty
's message, "Iles De La Madeleine Quebec singles photos" on 09:41:29 01/26/03 Sun
Alright, who told my sister about this place?!
No seriously, I just have to comment this internet dating service thingy, it really cracked me up. Thanks, whoever posted this. =P
"Status: in a relationship but looking"
(Uh... threesome, yay! It's ok, I'm not greedy or picky or anything. I'm very open-minded. "Come 'ere Bob! Yeah.. Spread those buttcheeks!")
"Body Type: Medium"
(Thing is, these people can't be trusted.. ever. "Medium" usually means "I'm so big I make Yarsatchafruut, the elephant at the city zoo, look like a cute anorexic little kitten" "Medium" also means you DO NOT ask her to come up to your apartment after your date. She: "'squse me, coming through!" You neighbours: "Hey mate, your rhino's ruining my ceiling..." *CRASH* "...and my floor." *CRUNCH* "You're gonna have to pay for that, alright?"....)
"search an online database for that perfect relationship"
(*sigh* The perfect relationship.... found in a database on the internet. Can it be worse?)
"unique matching technique based on western and eastern astrology"
(Obviously, it could. This is as bad as it get, right?)
"Also offers forums, advice, contest, jokes, and more."
(*looks amazed* Even worse?! "advice, jokes and more"... From who?! The other singles? Gee! They must be looking for partners on the internet because they know how to pick up girls with their great sense of humor. *sigh* Take me home oh Lord, I'm ready.)
"Iles De La Madeleine Quebec Singles online dating service for single men and women"
("single men and women" didn't stop Betty the nymph, already in a relationship, from signing up... Isn't one enough? O_o "Alright guys, form a line! Knock it off Ted, no pushing! There's plenty for everyone.")
"...and Professional personal ads and events for professional singles yada yada..."
("professional singles"... Huh? I speakar inte engelska så good, ok? I honestly don't understand what they mean with "professional singles". Are you professional at being single, or are you a professional single. (I'm a little bit of both actually. Fnargh.) "professionally single" must be a synonym for "socially retarded". Why is everyone trying to hide the ugly truth under a thick layer of fancy words? Sweet Jesus! What has the world become?)
"...specifically for athletic and sports oriented singles."
("Yep, 35 budweisers in 5 minutes ain't bad. I've got the... *BUUUUURRRRRRRP* ...trailerpark record! *smells dirty shirt and kicks dog that's licking its balls*")
(Hey, I think I recognize that dude with the beer stock sitting by the mobile home! Woffen, is that you? :P)
(sry woffen... the beer thing got me thinking and I just don't know when to stfu. especially not at 2:40 in the morning. wtf am I doing here anyways?!)
I'm really sorry if I offended anyone. If I did, remember just about everything I wrote fits in perfectly fine on me so.. yeah. I insulted myself more than anyone else really.
Btw, I actually tried to take a look at Betty's profile just to see if I could find any reasoning behind her decision to sign up for this not-so-serious dating service. (I really hope it's not serious... At least I can't take it seriously..) Too bad you've got to be a registered user to do it and I can't be arsed to register just to have a look at what a possibly disturbed woman, with strange sexual habits, is writing about herself. So... fuckit.
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