Re: Time to work on the Ole Christmas list.......... -- Mountain Talk

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Date Posted: 16:42:58 12/15/01 Sat
Author: Dr. Heart
Subject: Re: Time to work on the Ole Christmas list..........
In reply to: Mr.Troll. 's message, "Re: Time to work on the Ole Christmas list.........." on 21:23:51 12/10/01 Mon

I give a little something I wrote.. as my gift to everyone..

The Dance

When I awoke on the morning of November 10 of the year 1997 a dance began. A dance that I didn't know I was going to be taking part in had already began. Getting every one out the door that morning, all of the kisses we shared. Little did I know my family was kissing the real me for the last time. For a short time later my life changed which also will change their lives forever. About 30 minutes later with a loud sound life as I knew it and my kids new me ended. I see my life now as a dance. I don't know what is going to happen, but I do have to believe that God has a reason for me, another purpose than I thought. I have learned how to live life as it is now. To do what I can in this moment and not worry about the next. If I thought about my pain all the time and what my action would do a little later on. Then I couldn't live. I wouldn't be able to be the parent, wife, or child that I am. If I missed out on a dinner with my daughters or a solo in the school play. Then I would have missed more than just pain in my body. I would have missed a moment that could never be replaced in my child's life. I would have children that would think their mommy doesn't care. I would have missed a time to see them shine. We have but little time with our children. I am just trying to presreave that time. To cherish every minute for all we know when we leave the school after that child's moment; that could have been the last moment we had. So I ask you is the dance really all that much to play to attend? Pain in exchange for memories for all. I will choose my children over my pain anyday. Even if it's just for a Dance. When I was in labor with my oldest daughter I played the song The Dance by Garth Brooks over and over in my mind. I didn't know that many years later how the song would still ring so true. How that song helps keep me going. It reminds me that sometimes we must go through alot for the big picture. So with that I push my self. This way my children can't ever say mom didn't try. Maybe one of these days they will understand when I do say I can't do something that I really couldn't, because if I could have I would have. I have always told my children that can't never did do nothing. I try to practice what I teach. I have to try. I have to dance. Dance I will, for as many times as they ask. My children's happiness and education is all that matter's to me. For all of you that don't understand this I say DANCE.

Stella Dutton

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