Never fear, Shelly m'dear -- BIG mistake

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 12:10:22 03/24/00 Fri
Author: John Spivey
Subject: Never fear, Shelly m'dear
In reply to: Shelly 's message, "HELP" on 22:35:41 03/22/00 Wed

Shelly, I've got a cheap and easy solution to your problem that worked great for me!....it's a tatoo artist's secret and there's 4 easy steps:

1. gain a huge pain tolerance by smashing you private parts with large stones and cement blocks.....these can be found around building rubble whenever one is blown up by construction workers.

2. buy a ginsu brand knife and begin carving out the tattoo.....don't use anisthetic, it will only make step 1 unneccessary. As soon as you're done cutting out the chunk of bloody flesh, the next two steps have to do with the healing process and maintenence.

3. go to a doctor and tell him you were in a gang fight. This will usually get handled right away, and the government even picks up the bill if you use a fake name!

4. to keep the wound from getting ganggreene, pack it in mud as soon as you get home from the hospital (note: you may have to escape out the window if you don't want to pay for the good doctors's services). Also, a good safety measure is to pray to pagan gods that you don't contract a disease or get some sort of infection.....in return, offer them your first born child, or your best friend's soul or something of value like that.

By the way, if you save the hunk of flesh that you cut out, dry it so it shrinks and it can serve as a great keychain.......if you want advice on other crafts that you can make with your dismembered body parts, or if you want my advice on nosejobs and sex changes, then email me, freinds......the name's John Spivey, see you all next week, same bat time, same bat message board.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]