| Subject: +Listens+ |
Author:
Fox
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Date Posted: 07:58:09 07/09/03 Wed
In reply to:
Charity
's message, "((Cherish the Moment)" on 16:34:30 07/08/03 Tue
+dumbfounded by all she said, he stands quietly for a moment, words churning in his mind+
Charity, this territory means everything to me because it is where my past is. My family lived here, my sister still does. And I'd never turn my back on it. Nor would I turn my back on you. I never knew how much you cared. I have always loved you Charity, and I always will. I love you Charity.
But, there is so much hurt and pain inside of me, I dont' know how to sort through it. You've always been the only thing I've wanted. But when I lost you, I thought I'd never heal... and then I found Mutiny. I thought she would heal everything. And I loved her .... But I could never love any as I do you.
I can't continue playing this game with you though. If I'm to have you, I am to have you for life, there is no turning away, no leaving me. I'm scared to give you my heart. And I feel that by staying away from you, I protect myself from futher harm. You have hurt me Charity and you've caused confusion and pain in my life. But I'd have it no other way. For you are everything to me.
But as you say, there is reality. And in reality, I am a lead stallion who must look after my herd. My feelings and desires come second to that responsibility. You are a distraction to me. And the last thing this territory needs is a distraction. Yet, I can not do my duty because my heart is hurting, and it isn't all your fault. There are many factors involved. I need You Charity, but I'm afraid to take hold.
I've never had anything consistent in my life, and I figured out that I am just now gaining that with Destiny Falls. It is something I can concentrate and give all my effort to. It takes my mind off the pain.
You must know, however, that I do love you. I can't imagine how you wouldn't know. I've always thought since I was an awkward foal that I'd have you as my mate. I never meant to bring you harm... especially with Mutiny. I'd never have taken her as a mate had I thought for an instant that you would return to me. And now you have, and it seems as if you are just as far out of reach here as you were when you were away. I just don't know Charity.
For now, all I can give you is my love and a home. Destiny Falls is as much your home as it is mine. So stay here, with me, and know that my heart is and always will be yours.
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