Subject: Chapters 9 & 10 |
Author:
Jaron
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Date Posted: 20:08:54 12/21/01 Fri
In reply to:
Jaron
's message, "The Green-Eyed Monster" on 09:13:01 12/21/01 Fri
The Green-Eyed Monster
Chapter 9
I don�t know how, when or why it happened. I just know that one day I was standing in
the bay window at the front of my house, watching the two of them play rough and
tumble on the front lawn that had just been dusted with a new layer of snow. They were
laughing and having a wonderful time. I looked at him and thought to myself, I love him.
I had known him a long time and he had been my friend from our first meeting, but now, I
realized with startling clarity that I loved him. I wanted to spend the rest of my life
with him. There was only one problem. I didn�t know how he felt about me. Oh, he loved
me as a friend. I had known that for a long time. What I didn�t know was how he felt
about me as a woman and as, potentially his life�s partner. I didn�t know that yet.
As I continued to watch, he must have felt my eyes on him. He looked up at me standing
in the window and I saw his wonderful mouth smile at me. His lips moved, mouthing silent
words to me. I took a step closer to the window and shrugged my shoulders, sending him
the message that I did not understand what he was saying. He smiled at me and tried
again, slowly mouthing I---L--O--V--E---Y--O--U. I smiled back and answered him with
a big smile of my own and mouthed back the same message. He stood very still, causing
my son to look up at him with a question in his green eyes. My new love smiled a thank you
to me, and looked down at my son as Rene tugged on his sweater. He bent down and
picked up my son, carrying him toward the house and deposited him on the porch as he
continued into the house and into the room where I was waiting for him. He held out his
arms and I ran to him, allowing myself to be enveloped in the warm circle of his arms. I
sighed and said, �When did you know you loved me?�
�I think it started for me, when I found out what you had done for me. When you saved
my life that day in Section. Grace, I will love you forever.�
�And I love you, Carson!�
A voice from the door interrupted our words of love to each other. �Well, it�s about time.
I was beginning to think this would never happen.� These impatient words came from my
son, Rene. �I thought you two were never going to tell each other how you felt. Now,
Mom, what are you going to tell my Daddy about this?� He giggled the giggle of a very
happy seven-year-old as he ran over to us. Carson scooped Rene up into his arms and we
all joined together in a group hug. Maybe, there would be some happiness here after all,
even if Michael didn�t make it home for Christmas.
I thought to myself, in this moment of total happiness, what, indeed, was I going to tell
Michael? How would he take this information and how would it affect our friendship and
the relationship between Michael and his son? Alex and Rene had become very close in
the weeks that we had lived and worked here at the Section rehab center. Michael had
been a patient here for a few weeks, but the one constant male presence in Rene�s life
had been the big blond man who had somehow captured the heart of Rene�s Mom.
�So, when�s the first sleepover?� Carson and I turned stunned expressions to Rene who,
in all innocence, stood there waiting for an answer. �Well?� he asked impatiently.
�Daddy explained it all to me before he left. And I know I am not invited to the first
one. So, is it tonight, or what?�
�Just what did Michael tell you, Rene?� I asked, interested to hear this story. Carson
took my hand and led me and Rene over to the sofa. I was glad that he had the presence
of mind to recognize that this was something that might be heard best if we were all
sitting down.
�Rene?� I repeated. �What did your Daddy tell you?�
�Well, you know that morning when I woke up in my own bed, when I knew that I had gone
to sleep in Daddy�s room with him and Nikita at the sleepover.� I nodded my head, �Well,
you told me that he and Nikita needed some alone time because she was leaving and they
wanted to say good-bye to each other. And you told me to ask Daddy about it later.
Didn�t you? Well, I did ask him. And he told me that when two grownups fall in love with
each other that they want to spend as much time as possible together, and that means
that they stay with each other at night because sometimes they can�t be together all the
time during the day. Right?�
This time, Carson and I looked at each other, then nodded to Rene. �That�s right, Rene.�
�So Daddy said that nighttime is a private time when grownups can enjoy each other�s
company without interruptions. He said that was why he and Nikita had rooms connected
by the bathroom, so they could be together without disturbing anyone else. He also said
that when you and Carson finally decided that you loved each other, that it would be the
same for the two of you. That you would want to be alone together at night, and that I
was not to disturb you unless I was invited to a sleepover like Daddy and Nikita had.�
I felt the flaming blush rising from my throat and rushing into my face. How dare
Michael.........but then I laughed and hugged my son. �Yes, Rene, your Daddy is exactly
right. Sometimes grownups in love need their privacy. Your Daddy is very smart, isn�t
he?�
Yes, I thought, Michael was right on the money. And today, without fail, I would call
Operations and wish him a very Merry Christmas, and I hope, that he could be persuaded
to give Michael a very special Christmas gift in return.
The Green-Eyed Monster
Chapter 10
�I�ll try my best, Grace, really I will,� Operations gave me as close to a promise as he
would allow himself to give. But even after a short talk with Rene, that was all he would
give. Wherever Michael was, he wasn�t safe. I had gotten the distinct sensation of fear
emanating from Operations. He truly didn�t know when Michael would be back, and he was
worried. However, none of the fear I felt from him had transferred itself to Rene.
Rene was fairly dancing around the Christmas tree in anticipation of his father�s visit. I
tried to calm him down. �But Ops said he would try his best to get Daddy here. He
Promised!!� he shouted. �He promised.�
�I know Rene, but sometimes, promises can�t be kept. I want you to be prepared just in
case Michael can�t make it back on time.� He looked at me with hurt eyes and turned
away, putting his hands over his ears, not wanting to hear my words.
I sighed and hoped that Operations� word was good and that Michael would be here for
Christmas.
But the hours ticked away. We took Rene to his pageant performance and watched as he
played the consummate Wise Man. His eyes always on the audience in hopes of catching a
glimpse of his father, but Michael did not make an appearance. We returned home, and
still received no word. Finally, when Rene could no longer keep his eyes open in vigil for
his father, Carson and I tucked him into bed and kissed him goodnight. I retired to my
room and had just slipped on a new white nightgown when I heard a quiet knock on my
door. I turned toward the door to see Carson peek through the door opening. �Care for a
sleepover?� he said smiling. �I brought food and champagne!�
I laughed a little nervously and walked over to take his hand and pull him inside, pushing in
the lock on the doorknob. �Come in, please.� I whispered as I closed the door. �Put the
basket down over there.� I pointed to a table in the sitting room area of my bedroom.
�Carson, I ........� My words were drowned by his mouth on mine as he lifted me and
carried me to my bed. I thought to myself, I hope this is like riding a bicycle. I hope I
haven�t forgotten anything.
And to my delight as well as Carson�s, I discovered I hadn�t forgotten a thing. And I was
happy to learn quite a few new things that night also. Carson was not my first lover, but I
hoped he would be my last. I never wanted to leave his side again.
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