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Date Posted: 16:07:48 09/25/02 Wed
Author: Badhbh
Subject: Okay..
In reply to: Drazy 's message, "I dun care...opinions are welcome if you have anything to add... *bounces around*" on 20:18:03 09/24/02 Tue

My suggestion would be to read the good posts you wrote..whenever you feel your quality is going down. Look over your post just before you hit 'send' and think..how much more detail could I put in there?
Here is one of your examples:

.:Femmora grunts in fatigue as orrics dart about in serch for her virile.x. They hadn't had much time before the raid.x. She was dissaproved of by his sire.x. auids swiv back pon skulla as 'he picks out one o' the mares and tils head in acknlogdement before trudging o'er to an oak and falling next to it:.
----
Okay, firstly.. she is tired... why don't you throw in a lowered neck, drooping ears and a little bit about sweat. She looks around for the other horse.... so how does she search for him? Hopefully, worridly,.... absently?
Elaborate on -before the raid- something about arrogant brutes invading your territory and harrassing everyone...or something about the peace before they invaded.
You could also elaborate on the sire.. what kind of a stallion is he? Overbearing? And in what way does he dissaprove? Unfairly or unknowlegably?
Think about how you want to say she picks out the other mare.. the description of that could support your earlier statement that she was tired.
How does she trudge? And what does the oak look like ? Is it big? old? thin? shady? Are there leaves beneath it? Are there acorns beneath it ?(which would make it uncomfortable for her to lie on and give you something else to elaborate on)
How does she fall? Collapse? Does she sigh? Is she glad to rest?

But..one thing I notice is that as you get more into a game, you get sick of repeating yourself. If you have already described your character a million times.. you don't want to and so your posts start to decline because you have less to say and describe. And that is okay for short periods, but after a while you can describe yourself again, using different wording and describing your -current- appearance, which might have been different than a few days ago.

So basically just look it over and think how you could elaborate and give the reader a more detailed mental picture of the situation. By reading older and better posts, you kind of refresh your mind and give it a bit of inspiration. But I think these things go in waves.. you get tired or busy and the posts get shorter..then you look at them and say..ewww! and get better again. I do it all the time.. I absolutely shudder at some two sentence posts of mine then decide I have -got - to do better and move my next one up to a paragraph or two.

:o) Ha! Just a brief note huh? Sorry for the extreme elaboration on MY part! :o) Hope it helps.... Let me know.

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Replies:

lol...Mucho Gracias... That is egg-actly what I needed to know.1 *hugs you* (NT) -- Drazy, 14:40:36 09/28/02 Sat
- He,he. Gee thanks. (NT) -- Badhbh, 15:32:40 09/29/02 Sun