Everything will be alright -- The Fiercest Calm

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Date Posted: 19:26:46 05/25/03 Sun
Author: ----
Subject: Everything will be alright

I breathed heavily. Bracing myself, I picked up the receiver and cautiously dialed the seven numbers that had once been so frequent to my fingertips. I held my breath as the phone rang. Once. Twice. Three times. Click. �Hello?� I heard a voice answer. I knew it was him. His voice had a low, scratchy, sexy tone; it couldn�t be missed. I almost hung up; like I had done the past five times I had called in the last month. I had made up my mind this time. I needed to talk to him.
�Aaron? It�s me . . .� my voice faded away.
�Steph?� he asked.
I replied, telling him yes, it was indeed me on the other end. There was silence for a few seconds and then I said:
�I need to talk to you. Please,� I begged him.
There was silence, and then he replied, �Shoot.�
I didn�t want to talk to him on the phone, and told him so. I asked him a bit apprehensively if I could come over. He cautiously said yes and I sensed a hint of resistance in his voice, along with sadness and bitterness.
We hung up the phone, my hands shaking fiercely. I was out of breath and the room was spinning. It had taken me so long to get up the nerve to make that phone call and I had finally done it. Now I just needed the nerve to drive over to his house. I grabbed my keys and slowly went to my car, wondering what to say. I knew what I wanted to tell him, but how to say it? It was all so confusing.
Somehow I managed the twenty-five minute drive to his house. When I pulled up beside his house, I froze. I couldn�t move. I mentally walked up the driveway and onto the front porch. There was the bench we used to sit and cuddle on where it was so peaceful at night. When it got cold, we bundled up; me in his sweatshirts that smelled like his cologne, and a blanket we shared while he held me. I saw the swing in his backyard where we used to sit, waiting for the grill to finish cooking our dinner. It smelled like summer.
I snapped out of it. I realized I had to go in sooner or later; he would begin to wonder where I was. I opened the door to my Infiniti and stepped out. I walked to steps that I had envisioned in my car up to his front door. I pushed the doorbell and stepped back, my heart beating rapidly. The door opened and I saw his face. All that separated us was the screen door.
�Hi,� he said, and managed a small smile.
�Hi,� was all I could reply. I just stared at him. His messy hair looked like he had been out of the shower fifteen minutes. He had a t-shirt on and some shorts. No shoes though, Aaron hated shoes. He pushed open the screen door.
�Come on in.�
I stepped in the front step and looked around. So many memories, Things his mom had bought and shown me with excitement. Bargain days at the outlet malls where she always found the great deals. It all looked like junk to me, but she was always thrilled, so I was happy for her.
I followed him into the living room. �Are you here alone?� I asked him.
�Yeah,� he replied, with no explanation as to where anyone was. �You want something to drink?�
I thought to myself, was he kidding? How could I drink something? He knew what I wreck I was. He always could tell.
I sat down on the couch. He sat down a foot away from me and turned sideways with his leg up on the couch. I stared at my hands.
�So what�s up?� he asked cautiously.
I sighed heavily. I saw the tears welling up in my eyes. I squeezed them shut and bit my lip. Aaron just sat there.
�I made a big mistake.� I continued to look at the floor. I couldn�t look at him. I didn�t want to see him gloat in my misery.
I started again. �When we were together last year, you were amazing. Nobody has ever treated me the way you did. No one has ever been that good to me, loved me that much, cared about my happiness that much. I was so used to making everyone around me happy, I never once had someone want me to be happy before they were. That was weird. It was awkward for me. You were treating me better than I had ever been treated before. How could I have missed that?� I looked at him, now with tears streaming down my face. �I miss that. I miss you. But I also know you could never forgive me for leaving you like I did. That wasn�t fair at all.� I stared back at my hands. �I just wanted to tell you that you were right. No one could ever treat me like you did. No one would ever measure up. I love you.� I stood up, still not making eye contact with him. �I just couldn�t tell you that over the phone. You didn�t deserve it.�
I started to leave and right when I got past the couch, I felt my hand being engulfed by something much bigger � his hand. I turned to look at him. My face turning red, tears in my eyes so that I could barely see. He pulled me back over to the couch and pulled me down.
�You�re right. I didn�t deserve that. You should�ve told me what you were thinking, instead of just running off.� He looked at me intently. There was silence for a few seconds, but he continued after gathering his thoughts. �But I still love you. I�ve never stopped loving you. And if I told you too soon, I�m sorry. It�s still the truth.�
I looked down. �I�m sorry I hurt you, Aaron,� I said.
�Shhh,� he whispered. �It�s alright. We�re together now . . .� his voice drifted off and he looked at me with those sexy eyes and my heart melted. He put his hand up to hold my cheek and my stomach fluttered. My eyes began to close as he leaned into kiss me. The small peck he gave me was enough to make want him more than I ever did. I leaned for more and he obliged. He kissed me again, this time his mouth opening and I felt his tongue seep into my mouth. He put his arms around me and we continued to kiss, each kiss getting more passionate. After about a minute of passionate kisses, he began to move down my neck, then unbuttoning my shirt, down to breasts . . . . . .
I knew everything would be alright.

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