Date Posted:14:55:32 12/05/04 Sun Author:Caitlin Subject: Discerning voices and mental illness
When most people were at ubf, I don't think they heard "God's voice". I think they heard people's voices of shame and condemnation and manipulation. However, it's very hard for me now still to discern God's voice. Also, it's hard to know when it's okay to do what we want to do. I mean we are naturally sinners and selfish, so how do you discern when what you want to do is okay and when it's not? What if you hear a voice telling you to do something, how do you know if it's God's voice or your own? What if it's your own, but you think it's God and if you don't obey it you are being disobedient to God, when really it's not God's voice and you shouldn't obey it, because you'll do foolish things?
I think I struggle more than normal person, because I also struggle with mental illness, but I think my experience in ubf has made that all the more difficult for me to deal with. I will give an example, a week ago, I heard a voice telling me to stop my medicine and I did. However, now I'm feeling so depressed and rotten that I really think I should go back on my medicine. This has happened to me three times before and it's so nutty. I keep wondering what is that voice? It can't be God's, because then God would enable me to get off and not feel inept and helpless.
However, in the Bible they don't speak about mental illness. They do talk about Elijah suffering from depression, but that was temporary. They do talk about Saul, but he was tormented by demons. However, they also don't talk in the Bible about people breaking their bones and people break their bones and if I did break my bone, I'd like to go to the hospital even though the Bible doesn't mention poeple getting casts for broken bones.
This may seem like a strange problem, but maybe others who suffer from mental illness could share if they have these struggles.
