Date Posted:14:41:43 12/16/04 Thu Author: Narrowly Escaped Subject: Re: Wish I had known about this site years ago... In reply to:
PECAS
's message, "Re: Wish I had known about this site years ago..." on 13:27:16 12/16/04 Thu
>How has your post-UBF experience been regarding
>church, social, and family relationships?
>
>In Christ,
>
>PECAS.
It was difficult. I was pretty depressed for a while. My boyfriend back then was not a member (he is/was happy being Lutheran) and of course *everyone* tried to discourage this relationship. They told me there would be a man in my life, "when I was ready". Right. I was also very strongly encouraged to move in with other female church members who went to the same university that I did (UIC). My mother had just emigrated to the US at this point, I was not about to leave her by herself (she didn't like these people at all).
So not only did I feel like I abandoned God, but I felt that I abandoned God for "mortal" relationships.
I knew it was dumb to feel like that, because I was certainly not abandoning God, as Samuel Lee was very far from being God, but I still did. Took awhile to get over that feeling.
Fortunately I wasn't to the stage where I had left all my other relationships. My family ties are very strong, and I had a few good friends. They dragged me out of the house so I can actually interact with other people instead of staying inside all day moping when I wasn't in class.
Mixed in with all this guilt was the fact that I neglected all these other people who cared about me. I do agree, if you are a current UBF member, do not neglect your family and friends outside of UBF.
Church-wise I stopped any religious attendance or affiliations for several years. I guess it was a if I ignored it, it would go away type thing. I few years ago I went back to my old church, and have come to terms to what happened as a lesson in life.
I consider myself lucky, I wasn't dragged in too deep that I drowned. I think my outside ties made it so that I wasn't "all alone" and trapped within this group. I was a member for a year, I never got high up their ladder.
