Re: criterion for UBF marriage -- RSQUBF discussion forum

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Date Posted: 02:00:37 10/19/04 Tue
Author: Chris
Subject: Re: criterion for UBF marriage
In reply to: John 's message, "Re: criterion for UBF marriage" on 15:52:45 10/18/04 Mon

I've seen this tactic used in my old church as well. Early on, you had to convert someone to be allowed to date, then the two of you had to convert a couple in order to get married.

The Moonies had (have?) a similar rule. You have to "give birth to 3 spiritual children" before you are considered to be worthy to start a Moon arranged marriage.

In UBF, marriage serves two purposes: First, it is a bait for those who have not yet married. UBF members are usually in the age where they start to long for a marriage partner. Also, after having worked in UBF for some years, you start to long for a REAL partner and friend. But with the prospect of a future marriage, you can endure UBF a little bit longer and work hard for UBF to show you are worthy. Second, it is a trap for those who have already married. Usually, they do not chose partners which are a perfect fit, but partners which do not fit together, and at least one partner must be completely brainwashed, so he can bind the other one to UBF. Even after UBF, they constantly try to seed distrust in the marriage and make one partner dependend of the leader. Once you have married in UBF, it is hard to get out.

So I have seen both: Members who were not allowed to marry though they were already old, and members who were told to marry though they were very young, just as a means to keep them in UBF (2nd gens usually fall into the 2nd category). Sometimes, two members from different categories are matched.

I remember one case in Bonn UBF two years ago. Meanwhile, they only have very old, but very indoctrinated members. But they arranged to catch a nice young lady who was flattered and showered with love. Since years, she had been the first real new shepherd candidate, and she was treated as a princess to make her commit to UBF. Therefore, she did not really notice what was wrong in UBF. Still, when she had been less a year in UBF, her friends found out about UBF and tried to help her, giving her information about UBF. She started to see through the deception and asked critical question. This was the point where she was asked to attend a UBF conference in Korea. Her friends warned her, but it was hard to convince her not to got, because the UBFins told her "just come with us one last time" etc. As she later found out, they had already arranged a marriage with an American (probably New Jersey) for her and the plan was to let them meet in Korea and set up an arranged marrige. That young lady had only started her spiritual journey, she just had started her study, she had not made a commitment to UBF, yet she had been set up for an arranged marriage. The reason was that it was the last resort for UBF to keep her in their ranks.

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