I am sorry to hear about your situation. You should cut off your contact with Joe Schafer and the other UBFin's. It seems to produce too much stress in your life. I would seek out a good Christian ministry at PSU that correctly teaches God's word. UBF abuses the Bible for its own ends. You need to learn God's word newly and grow in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Every answer to your problems can be found in the Bible. Christ's love for you is deep and wide. If you trust God with your life he will lead you to a proper Christian woman. You should forget about the Russian girl. She may have ulterior motives to come here.
Also, I don't know why you call Helen Rarick "Colonel." If you knew some of the things I know about her you would understand. She has been an utter failure as a "shepherd and Bible teacher" in UBF. She has chased away a lot of people with her proud attitude that UBF has built up in her.
Please seek God in prayer and realize that He is the holy God that can heal all your brokenness and sorrow. You need to leave UBF because they just see you as another American in their seats every week. I wish you lived in Chicago so I could help you more. I'll pray for you.
