Re: wrong done on both sides -- RSQUBF discussion forum

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Date Posted: 14:30:42 10/19/04 Tue
Author: Bob2
Subject: Re: wrong done on both sides
In reply to: PECAS 's message, "Re: wrong done on both sides" on 12:41:57 10/19/04 Tue

Good point. When we left UBF almost three years ago, we got a visit from the Toledo UBF director Paul Hong. Once again, he visitted us to examine us and the reason why we were leaving UBF. So we told him our serious concerns, even some of the concerns about his own ministry.

On leaving our apartment his final words to us, "Sorry we could not be more like Christ". This is the only word by Paul Hong that I have ever heard even remotely close to being considered an apology or an admission of guilt that he himself had sinned on multiple occasions in his abusive ministry. He didn't say, "I was wrong" or "I did many wrong and abusive things to you". What he did say was "I'm not Christ, ok". Not very repentant. Very prideful, even arrogant.

Interesting, is the Paul Hong approach to discussion which seems to have come out of his industrial management studies. He seems to have adapted some management/labour negotiation skills of reaching out so far with out actually admitting guilt or actually accepting his opponents positions. In many ways, I also see this same technique in a lot of Brian's posts. He is willing to say that there was wrong, but really "wrong on both sides" and then minimize the UBF abuse. Sad.

Bob2

>There is one point missing from this discussion of
>mistakes were made on both sides. That is the common
>theme of UBF leaders (that I have observed) to
>maintain that they have done everything by faith and
>with good intentions for their sheep. The UBF leaders
>claim that they had great love and spirit to help the
>sheep grow as a great man of God. With this as a
>foundation, they justify off every mistreatment and
>abuse having been based on good intentions. This was
>my experience. UBF leader says "You must see this bad
>experience from God's point of view. The training did
>not work out. I made some mistakes. But, remember
>that I was training you with much prayer and love to
>help you grow. My intentions were good. So, just
>remember that I trained you out of love for you" Even
>when UBF leaders admit that they have made a mistake,
>they will not unconditionally apologize to their sheep
>and repent before God. In conclusion, I have found
>that UBF leaders will admit to soem vague mistake, but
>attempt to justify themselves by claiming that their
>mistake was based on their prayer for the sheep and
>desire to see them grow to be great servants of God.
>No sincere, unconditional repentance.
>
>In Christ,
>
>PECAS

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To the UBF Information Minister -- former, 14:41:34 10/19/04 Tue