Date Posted:07:55:38 10/22/04 Fri Author: Joe Subject: Re: freedom to chose --NOT In reply to:
Brother in Christ
's message, "Re: freedom to chose --NOT" on 12:16:13 10/20/04 Wed
>But also much of what is said is not true. I
>personally dated two girls in UBF. We had the freedom
>and did go to movies and dinner many times, and
>without other UBF people present. I had their phone
>number and they had mine. We talked many times on the
>phone. I was personally asked on more than one
>occassion who I wanted to marry and I rejected three
>girls who they asked if I wanted to marry.
Bro,
I've read your past posts, and, correct me if I'm wrong, you are a strongly independent-minded person (which I admire) who calls on others in UBF to be likewise. So I believe what you've written of your experience. And there have been rare instances in which members ended up marrying an old boyfriend, girlfriend or fianceebut only after that old boyfriend, girlfriend or fiancee was also "fished" into UBF. John Bird, Ward Canfield, Marius Sumandea and Javier Chavez come to mind immediately (three of those four are no longer in UBF).
Did you end up marrying one of the female members that you dated? Would you consider your eventual marriage to have been an arranged marriage, if not from your own point of view, then from the point of view of your bride? You stated yourself, "I am surprised they even let me marry."
When you got married, how many others got married in the same chapter, on the same day? And would you consider those other marriages to have been arranged?
Would you disagree with the statement that "virtually all UBF marriages are arranged; Some estimate that 95% to 99% of married UBF members were arranged to be married within UBF."
UBF leaders (even the non-Korean ones like Mark Vucekovich) and even hard core UBF defenders like the one we've seen recently would say that dating is either discouraged or not allowed in UBF.
Personally, if I had tried to start a dating relationship in Chicago, there would have been severe consequences for me. 2ndgens dating each other was strictly verboten. I remember the shouting matches and "repentence sogams" as recently as 2000, resulting from 2ndgens trying to furtively date other 2ndgens.
