You crazy SOB -- The Pheonix Promotion Roleplay Board

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Date Posted: 13:24:48 09/06/03 Sat
Author: NoBody
Subject: You crazy SOB

{Backstage a worried Renee runs up to NoBody�s locker room door. She pounds on the door, calling for him to open. The door flies open and standing there is The Undisputed World�s Champion, NoBody. The crowd cheers. Renee stares at the champion with a worried look in her eyes.}

Renee: NoBody, I�m so sorry.

NoBody: Why�s that?

Renee: I was just talking to your opponent, Ensign Pheonix, and I told him that we all needed him to bring back his old attitude. And then he did. And he said that this Monday night, at Blaze, he�s going to end your career and your life!

{NoBody looks very worried for a moment before his face spreads into a huge grin. The Champion begins to laugh as Renee looks on, horrified.}

NoBody: That�s what�s got you so worked up? You�re worried about what Ensign Pheonix�I�m sorry, what the new-and-improved-yet-once-again-old-school Ensign Pheonix�has promised to do to me? C�mon Renee, I know you spend a lot of time backstage, but you�ve got to pay attention to what goes on around here! Ensign Pheonix, new or old, boring attitude or hell-bent-on-destruction, is still just another chump in that ring. The only thing I�m ever worried about when I go up against him is getting the crazy son of a bitch�s drool on my clothes. Do you know how hard it is to get drool stains off of my tights?

{The crowd can be heard laughing.}

Renee: But he said he was going to-

NoBody: He said a lot of crap in that interview. I was watching it in my locker room and I couldn�t believe the insanity he was spewing forth. First, he continues to call himself the Enterprise Champion. Last time I checked, the Pheonix Promotion didn�t have an Enterprise Champion division. Hell, I can�t remember Ensign Pheonix ever competing in an Enterprise Champion title match, or ever defending his so-called title. The man just created a title for himself to boost his self-esteem, since he knows he�ll never win gold here again. Our match at Blaze is the closest he�ll ever get to the titles, and that�s just because I�m bringing them ringside!

{The crowd can again be heard laughing. Even Renee cracks a smile}

NoBody: And how about the so-called Champ�s take on his match at Massacre. Does he honestly believe that him losing is �a huge loss� to the Pheonix Promotion? I thought we sent him there as a joke! As a sacrificial lamb, so that we could see what the MWI would do to him! Ensign, you losing isn�t a blow to the Pheonix Promotion. You lost, you did what was expected of you, you no-talent son of a bitch! The only loss we sustained was in how embarrassing you are as a person, jackass!

Renee: But NoBody, he still promised to return to his old ways-

NoBody: Yeah, and then he did just that. In the snap of a finger, he was suddenly Evil Ensign, hell bent on something or other. A true transformation doesn�t happen at the drop of a hat, Renee. That�s why you were out those few weeks when you got your boobs done. Ensign Pheonix thinks I�ll be intimidated if he �goes back to his roots,� but the clown doesn�t realize that first of all, I don�t buy this transformation. The guy is too much of a sap to change into anything tough. But secondly, and most important, when he was this old-school, Evil Ensign back in the day, I kicked his ass then! I have done nothing but kick this guy�s ass year in and year out. So he can bring whatever attitude or gimmick or whatever the hell else he wants to down to the ring on Monday and I�ll beat the hell out of whatever shows up!

{With that, NoBody steps back into his locker room and slams the door. Renee stands there for a moment before the door flies open again.}

NoBody: And Renee, your boobs look very nice. It was definitely worth the few-week wait!

{The crowd roars as NoBody closes the door again, leaving a blushing Renee standing out in the hall.}

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