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Date Posted: 22:27:55 01/09/03 Thu
Author: Star
Author Host/IP: cache-har.cableinet.co.uk / 194.117.133.118
Subject: Here's why..again.

half my friends from other time zones aren't gonna have read my post before, so here it is again.

i wasn't going to post this, or anything, for a while, but i thought maybe some of you do care why i've 'lost my twinkle'. it's not because of anything in particular, it's because of everything moving so fast. i'm chilled now, but it takes the slightest thing to wind me up. i know i'm not hideously disfigured or anything, and in the past 2 years i've regained the confidence i had when i was a kid. i have lots of friends, and they're all really important to me. but there is one girl who just wants to take it all away from me, and make me feel bad. she tries to make out i'm annoying, ugly, and just make me feel bad about myself. sometimes this happens, and sometimes it doesn't. that's why, sometimes i'm happy and as laid-back as you can get, and sometimes i'm sad and on edge. that's why, when people like michelle or the others that don't like me, yell at me, that's why it feels like the end of the world. that's why sometimes i get upset. it's not bullying. i can deal with it 99% of the time. just 1% of the time, i flip, i get annoyed, i get sad. don't tell me to tell a teacher, or an adult. most of them know, and all of them are looking out for me. they know, and they're partly why i find it so easy to deal with. the rest is down to my offline and online friends, the ones that keep me bright and sparkly star :)
i need to be a more positive person, i know that. there are loads of positive comments, and very little negative ones, but i only seem to believe the bad stuff. i don't have ears for the good things, and that's no one's fault but my own. i'm gonna sort that out though, and in a week or two, i know i'll be looking on the bright side of things. i'm sorry if i've got upset or annoyed when i'm talking to you, but now that you know why, you can forgive me for having a hissy fit. i'm glad i've got friends, on the net and everything, and i value you all, i really do.
sorry for moaning. i'm not looking for attention, or trying to cause arguements, or anything. i know i'll probably get a load of people replying saying that i'm stupid for caring, and that i'm mean for naming michelle. but the truth is, she has been horrible to me and i'm not going to pretend she hasn't. i'm letting it all out, letting you know why sometimes, i'm not as twinkly bright as other times. talk to you soon. thanks for everything. bye for now.
luv, star
aim - MsPrincezzStar
ps - ali, mollie is still sick and as soon as she's better i'll post something her about here.

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Replies:

[> Star, There are people who care about you! *hugs* If you ever need to talk I'm here for ya! :) Please whatever you do, don't do anything stupid hon. Everyone's life has rough patches and like ours yours too will pass. :) -- Jesslan, 06:07:33 01/10/03 Fri (ppp122.tc-1.buf-ch.ny.localnet.com/207.251.220.122)

>half my
>friends from other time zones aren't gonna have read
>my post before, so here it is again.
>
>i wasn't going to post this, or anything, for a while,
>but i thought maybe some of you do care why i've 'lost
>my twinkle'. it's not because of anything in
>particular, it's because of everything moving so fast.
>i'm chilled now, but it takes the slightest thing to
>wind me up. i know i'm not hideously disfigured or
>anything, and in the past 2 years i've regained the
>confidence i had when i was a kid. i have lots of
>friends, and they're all really important to me. but
>there is one girl who just wants to take it all away
>from me, and make me feel bad. she tries to make out
>i'm annoying, ugly, and just make me feel bad about
>myself. sometimes this happens, and sometimes it
>doesn't. that's why, sometimes i'm happy and as
>laid-back as you can get, and sometimes i'm sad and on
>edge. that's why, when people like michelle or the
>others that don't like me, yell at me, that's why it
>feels like the end of the world. that's why sometimes
>i get upset. it's not bullying. i can deal with it 99%
>of the time. just 1% of the time, i flip, i get
>annoyed, i get sad. don't tell me to tell a teacher,
>or an adult. most of them know, and all of them are
>looking out for me. they know, and they're partly why
>i find it so easy to deal with. the rest is down to my
>offline and online friends, the ones that keep me
>bright and sparkly star :)
>i need to be a more positive person, i know that.
>there are loads of positive comments, and very little
>negative ones, but i only seem to believe the bad
>stuff. i don't have ears for the good things, and
>that's no one's fault but my own. i'm gonna sort that
>out though, and in a week or two, i know i'll be
>looking on the bright side of things. i'm sorry if
>i've got upset or annoyed when i'm talking to you, but
>now that you know why, you can forgive me for having a
>hissy fit. i'm glad i've got friends, on the net and
>everything, and i value you all, i really do.
>sorry for moaning. i'm not looking for attention, or
>trying to cause arguements, or anything. i know i'll
>probably get a load of people replying saying that i'm
>stupid for caring, and that i'm mean for naming
>michelle. but the truth is, she has been horrible to
>me and i'm not going to pretend she hasn't. i'm
>letting it all out, letting you know why sometimes,
>i'm not as twinkly bright as other times. talk to you
>soon. thanks for everything. bye for now.
>luv, star
>aim - MsPrincezzStar
>ps - ali, mollie is still sick and as soon as
>she's better i'll post something her about here.


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