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Subject: how much do I wt

Author:
janet

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Date Posted: 11:47:43 04/17/02 Wed

I am like at 173 today. I hate myself, I am so sad I can hardly stand. I have to go get a mamogram today. And still no one loves me. I mean no one loves me. I am all alone. Just alone. All i do is service other people. My dad only talks to me because I can help him with his computer. cassie only talks to me because she has to. watch for my b day no one will do anything. that is why i stopped doing stuff. maybe my mother will run by with some shit she just bought at ekerds of course finger nail polish. that is all she ever buys me. and cassie won't even care. i wish i could commit suicide but i have to take care of cassie. and she hates me. wow what a life. i hate dieting but because i am fat no one likes me. i spend every weekend alone. tara doesn't talk to me unless we are at work and kim is just to young. but she does call me on the weekend. i wish neal liked me more then maybe i could hang out with them more. and then there is drunk sofie enough said. i hate me why should anyone like me if i hate me. no one for me just shit. i will wait for a couple more years for cassie to get older then i will just do something then. i wish i could do something today. i hate me so much. i am so ugly and gross. i look like a pig or a man or a man/pig. i hate me so much.

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