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Date Posted: 02:22:27 08/25/06 Fri
Author: 百目鳥
Subject: 1002. 亞伯拉罕的眼淚(下)

亞伯拉罕的眼淚(下)

04. 「人必需進入悲傷之中,才能看見真理」
事隔多年我依然記得,悲傷是一潭藍色的池水。你置身其中,拚命掙扎,以致力盡下沉。藍色的濃度不斷增加,池水的氣味穿過皮膚,永遠烙印在你的身體。風的拂掠,太陽的蒸烤,都帶著相似的氯氣。你自然無法流淚,但是要是你真的流淚,其中也總有,消毒劑的成份。

然後你在悲傷中沒頂,然後忽然來到今日,然後世界的運轉繼續。然後。

你看見。這唯一能於悲傷中看見的真理。有關悲傷的悲傷真理。

05. 「不要哀悼,不要過於激動,因為那會妨礙思考」
那是因為,你堅持思考,並將思考置於激動之前。

而不知思考其實亦不過一種哀悼,一種因為過於激動,而無法停止的激動。你堅持清醒,堅持目睹每個令人疼痛得昏眩的一刻。那是你的咒詛。你以為看見一切會將你帶往真理之處,你以為即使受苦,也要在受苦中創造價值。你以為。

那是哀悼,是過於激動的激動。你思考,而無法停止。

06.「快進來吧,這就是,神所應許給我們的迦南地了」
那是最美麗的一刻,你張開雙臂,將我們迎入這個被鐵網圍合的房間。帶有菱角的鐵線,沿一地的沙粒在蔓延。同樣粗糙冰冷的高台,提醒我們現實的迦南地,無論古今,都是一處激烈的戰壕。這是神的應許,流血與子彈的,迦南美地。

故此我愛上我所站立的現在,這已邁出而未踏下的當下的一步。遙遠的埃及已留在背後,迦南的大門卻仍未進入。紅海已乾而約旦河水尚未凝固。

紅色的液體再次灑下。我們走避而無處走避。那是最美麗的一刻,曾是cookies的以撒,是今夜的心靈的最大安慰。

2006/08/24

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