amanda 12.07.05 -- ceneri di nerezza

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time ]

Subject: amanda 12.07.05

Author:
sym

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 00:06:54 12/08/05 Thu
Author Host/IP: 70.20.140.15

Of Color Bright: did you intend to unblock me?
viennawaits42: no
viennawaits42: just.took.you.off.my.list
Of Color Bright: what?
viennawaits42: .I.took.you.off.my.buddy.list
viennawaits42: but.you.can.still.see.me
Of Color Bright: i'm confused
Of Color Bright: on aol you have a block list
Of Color Bright: i don't use aim often
viennawaits42: yeah
viennawaits42: we.have.a.block.list
viennawaits42: but.I.didn't.block.you
viennawaits42: I.used.to.have.you.blocked
viennawaits42: but.i.don't.anymore
Of Color Bright: yay!'
viennawaits42: mhmm....iI.really.don't.care.anymore
viennawaits42: last.night.i.downed.some.pills.with.dome.nyquil.and.nothing.happened
viennawaits42: made.me.sad
viennawaits42: but.yeah....i.give.up.on.love.and.hate
viennawaits42: neither.are.worth.my.energy
Of Color Bright: you didn't feel sleepy?
Of Color Bright: i consumed a bottle of nyquil when i was in the basement in lakewood
viennawaits42: well.yeah
Of Color Bright: it made me feel high and then sleepy
viennawaits42: but.it.didn't.kill.me
Of Color Bright: amanda!
Of Color Bright: that's horrible
viennawaits42: well....that.was.my.intention
viennawaits42: when.I.say.I'm.gonna.kill.myself....i.pretty.much.mean.it
viennawaits42: but.I.don't.feel.like.it.today
Of Color Bright: well i can't really ask you how your day was or how you are or anything
Of Color Bright: so i don't know what else to day
Of Color Bright: say*
viennawaits42: k
Of Color Bright: you should come to north carolina
viennawaits42: nope
viennawaits42: never
viennawaits42: being.around.that.asshole.only.depresses.me.more
viennawaits42: and.I.don't.want.to.kill.myself.in.North.Carolina
viennawaits42: I.can.do.that.here
Of Color Bright: well.. if you don't want your life anymore you should give it to me
Of Color Bright: and i'll drag you to therapy every day and see if i can do anything with it
Of Color Bright: and it won't matter because you don't want it anyway
viennawaits42: you.have.my.life
viennawaits42: he's.with.you
Of Color Bright: :\
viennawaits42: yup
viennawaits42: he's.the.only.reason.i.stayed.alive.last.year
viennawaits42: and.now.that.my.reason.is.gone
viennawaits42: I.can.do.it
viennawaits42: finally
viennawaits42: but.it.doesn't.matter....cause.I.don't.feel.like.dying.today
viennawaits42: I'm.quite.the.procrastinator
Of Color Bright: what did you do today?
viennawaits42: went.to.psychology.to.make.sure.I.was.still.failing
viennawaits42: turns.out.I.an
viennawaits42: ate
viennawaits42: slept
viennawaits42: ate.some.more
viennawaits42: got.online
viennawaits42: the.usual
Of Color Bright: oh
Of Color Bright: i told tim
viennawaits42: cool
viennawaits42: don't.care
viennawaits42: and.theres.really.no.point.in.telling.me.how.he.feels.about;.it
viennawaits42: cause.I.most.likely.wn't.give.a.shit
viennawaits42: just.incase.thats.what.you're.typing
Of Color Bright: he curled up and cried and said it made him sick and he said that if he had known, he wouldn't've been so frustrated with you ... because when you said you tried to move on but couldn't, he didn't believe you, because he didn't know that it was actually true
viennawaits42: hmm
viennawaits42: well
viennawaits42: it.was
Of Color Bright: he said he would have driven to akron every night to cuddle with you if he had known
viennawaits42: nope
Of Color Bright: and that he hates thinking about how it didn't make you happy
viennawaits42: nope
viennawaits42: not.for.one.secnd
viennawaits42: Ed.said.that.if.he.had.me.he.would.never.hurt.me....and.I.cried....and.shit.happened
viennawaits42: and.I.felt.nothing
viennawaits42: and.now.he's.moving.back.to.Pittsburgh
viennawaits42: the.end
viennawaits42: and.I.would've.told.Tim
viennawaits42: but.....I.didn't.want.to.talk.about.it.with.him
Of Color Bright: why?
viennawaits42: cause.I.knew.it.hurt.him.when.i.told.him.about.the.other.guy
viennawaits42: and.I.didn't.know.if.he.still.cared.or.not
viennawaits42: cause.....ya.know....unlike.somepeople
viennawaits42: I.don't.like.to.hurt.the.people.oi.love
viennawaits42: and.no.one.else.is.to.know
viennawaits42: NOBODY
Of Color Bright: okay. i promise. keep typing.
viennawaits42: ok
viennawaits42: so.youdidn't.tell.Traci?
Of Color Bright: right
Of Color Bright: i only told tim because he would've read it in the aim logs anyway
Of Color Bright: eventually
viennawaits42: good.....cause.if.she.knew....other.people.will.know.eventually
Of Color Bright: well, that's not the ONLY reason
viennawaits42: and.me.and.Ed.like.to.keep.it.betwen.us
viennawaits42: well....yeah
viennawaits42: I.understand.why.you.told.him
viennawaits42: it;s.alright
Of Color Bright: how did it make him feel?
viennawaits42: he.didn't.seem.to.care.that.much
Of Color Bright: what?!
Of Color Bright: about you?
viennawaits42: he.probably.just.said.it.to.get.me.to.sleep.with.him
viennawaits42: but.ya.know
Of Color Bright: that's fucked up
viennawaits42: i.still.could've.loved.him.....
viennawaits42: and.i.didn't
Of Color Bright: why did you do it?
viennawaits42: so
viennawaits42: because.I.was.lonely.and.depressed
viennawaits42: and.cause.I.didn't.know.that.he.was.just.being.ass.before.hand
viennawaits42: cause.sometimes.I.mistake.lies.for.sincerity
Of Color Bright: :[
viennawaits42: yeah....but.i.don't.anymore
viennawaits42: which.is.why.i.don't.tlak.to.Tim
Of Color Bright: oh..
Of Color Bright: i don't think tim lied when he said he cared about you
Of Color Bright: or loved you
viennawaits42: yeah
viennawaits42: well
viennawaits42: I.do
viennawaits42: I.don't.believe.it.for.a.second
Of Color Bright: when he cheated on you, i think he was just confused
viennawaits42: well
viennawaits42: too.bad
viennawaits42: cause.he.knew.I.had.trust.issues.before.hand
viennawaits42: and.if.he.expected.me.to.trust.him.afterwards
viennawaits42: he's.full.of.shit
Of Color Bright: sometimes people can be inconsiderate.. but it doesn't mean he never cared or loved you
viennawaits42: yeah
viennawaits42: I.know
Of Color Bright: or intentionally lied to gain your trust and then break you
viennawaits42: but.Im.saying
viennawaits42: I'm.fucked.up
viennawaits42: and.have.issues.with.trust
viennawaits42: cause.of.my.dad
Of Color Bright: oh
Of Color Bright: :[
viennawaits42: and.a.few.other.people
viennawaits42: and.he.knew.that
viennawaits42: and.he.was.the.only.person.in.the.whole.fucking.world.that.I.trusted
viennawaits42: and.he.knew.that
viennawaits42: and.he.ruined.that
viennawaits42: and.now.I.will.never.trust.anyone...ever.again
Of Color Bright: :[
Of Color Bright: amanda..
viennawaits42: yeah...he.took.up.the.fucked.up.girl.and.just.fucked.her.up.more
viennawaits42: tell.him.he.should.be.damn.proud.of.himself
Of Color Bright: do you really think he's an evil person?
viennawaits42: yes
viennawaits42: I.really.do
viennawaits42: he's.just.like.every.other.guy.that.I.dated.and.cheated.on.me
viennawaits42: he's.worse.then.Ryan.fucking.logan
viennawaits42: and.I.hate.him
Of Color Bright: you know that's not true
viennawaits42: well....Ryan.treated.me.better
Of Color Bright: you're just trying to not be so attached
viennawaits42: he.never.cheated.on.me
viennawaits42: nope
viennawaits42: it's.the.truth
viennawaits42: it.might.not.have.been.yesterday
viennawaits42: but.it.is.now
viennawaits42: now.that.I've.thought.about.long.and.hard
viennawaits42: I.hate.him
viennawaits42: more.than.anyone.else.in.the.world
Of Color Bright: are you just trying to get yourself free?
Of Color Bright: by hating him?
viennawaits42: I.am.free
Of Color Bright: you're still miserable
viennawaits42: and.I.hate.him.anyway
viennawaits42: yeah
viennawaits42: well.thats.cause.I.have.nothing
viennawaits42: it.wasn't.losing.him.that.made.me.depressed
viennawaits42: it.was.having.him.that.made.the.depression.goa.away
viennawaits42: and.now.that.he's.gone
viennawaits42: the.depression.is.back
Of Color Bright: try to move twd good things instead of away from bad things
viennawaits42: what?
viennawaits42: look
Of Color Bright: instead of trying to move away from depression and loneliness and attachment to tim, move.. yeah
viennawaits42: nothing.you.say.is.gonna.make.me.not.hate.him
Of Color Bright: i know
Of Color Bright: i just want you to live instead of die
viennawaits42: well
viennawaits42: there.are.no.gopod.things.to.move.towards
viennawaits42: good
viennawaits42: there.are.only.bad.things.to.move.away.from
viennawaits42: there
viennawaits42: is
viennawaits42: nothign
viennawaits42: good'
viennawaits42: in
viennawaits42: my
viennawaits42: life
viennawaits42: get
viennawaits42: it!
Of Color Bright: there could be
viennawaits42: no
viennawaits42: no.school
viennawaits42: no.motivation
viennawaits42: no.love
viennawaits42: no.caring
viennawaits42: nothing
viennawaits42: I.don't.care.about.good.things
viennawaits42: don't.care.about.bad.things
viennawaits42: apathetic
viennawaits42: don't.feel
viennawaits42: anything
viennawaits42: ever
Of Color Bright: amanda..
viennawaits42: it's/true
viennawaits42: so.maybe.you're/right
viennawaits42: maybe.i.don't.hate.him
viennawaits42: maybe.i.just.don't.give.a.shit
viennawaits42: about.him
viennawaits42: or.anything.
viennawaits42: or.anyone.
viennawaits42: ever
Of Color Bright: do you want to be happy and healthy?
viennawaits42: don't.care
viennawaits42: don't/you.get.it?!
viennawaits42: none.of.it.matters.to.me!
Of Color Bright: but you're miserable
viennawaits42: I'm.not
viennawaits42: I'm.not.unhappy
viennawaits42: miserable.is.an.emotion
viennawaits42: I.have.no.emotions
Of Color Bright: miserable is a state of being
viennawaits42: well...whatever
viennawaits42: i.don't.mind.being.miserable
viennawaits42: because.it.doesn't.make.me.sad
viennawaits42: or.happy
viennawaits42: or.anything
viennawaits42: cause.it.does't.matter
viennawaits42: cause.I.don't.feel.anything
Of Color Bright: you're not really alive anymore
Of Color Bright: but you could be again
viennawaits42: it's.pretty.much.the.truth
viennawaits42: yeah
viennawaits42: I.probably.could.be
viennawaits42: too.bad.I.don't.care
Of Color Bright: well..
viennawaits42: yeah
viennawaits42: exactly
viennawaits42: did.you.just.tell.Tim.about.the.Ed.thing...or.did.you.tell.him.about.the.nyquil.thing.too?
Of Color Bright: um
viennawaits42: I.don't.care
viennawaits42: just....tell.me
Of Color Bright: both
viennawaits42: ok
viennawaits42: just.wondering
viennawaits42: I.mean....it.really.doesn't.matter.what.you.tell.him....cause.I.don't.really.believe.that.he.cares...he.can.cry.all.he.wants
viennawaits42: and.i.won't.believe.it
Of Color Bright: i wish something could somehow infuse you with awe and wonder for the world
viennawaits42: I.don't
Of Color Bright: and get your mind away from tim and apathy and misery
Of Color Bright: why?
viennawaits42: cause
viennawaits42: don't.care.....too.much.of.my.energy.wasted.on.bullshit.fantasies
Of Color Bright: giant trees are in antarctica
Of Color Bright: under all the ice and shit
viennawaits42: and.I.should.care.about.this....why?
Of Color Bright: because it's the world and the earth and the universe, and life and centuries and
viennawaits42: ....and.i.should.care.about.this.why?
Of Color Bright: because you are a part of it
Of Color Bright: and it is a part of you
viennawaits42: nope
viennawaits42: nothing.is.part.of.me
viennawaits42: and.I.don't.care.if.I'm.a.part.of.it
viennawaits42: if.i.did.i.wouldn't.want.to.leave.it
Of Color Bright: what if you've overlooked something?
viennawaits42: what.if.I.don't.care
viennawaits42: you.really.just.don;t.get.it.do.you?
Of Color Bright: you don't care because you haven't experienced it fully yet
Of Color Bright: i do
Of Color Bright: but
Of Color Bright: i refuse to accept it
viennawaits42: but.I.don't.car.eabout.experiencing.it
viennawaits42: I.don't.care
viennawaits42: I.don't.care
Of Color Bright: your reality is empty and shitty right now
viennawaits42: I.don't.care
Of Color Bright: but there is more
viennawaits42: I.don't.care
viennawaits42: I.don't.care
Of Color Bright: and if you taste it, you wiiiiiiill care
viennawaits42: I.don't.care
viennawaits42: I.don't.care
viennawaits42: I.don't.care
viennawaits42: I.don't.care
Of Color Bright: you can't care about anything right now because you're in an amanda bubble and there is nothing to care about
viennawaits42: yeah....and.guess.what.I.think.about.that?
viennawaits42: I.
viennawaits42: don't
viennawaits42: care
Of Color Bright: i know
viennawaits42: then.why.do.you.keep.talking.about.it
viennawaits42: nothing.is.going.to.change
viennawaits42: I.don't.care
viennawaits42: I.don't.want.to.care
viennawaits42: I.don't.care.about/not.wanting.to.care
viennawaits42: I.don't.care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
viennawaits42: k?
Of Color Bright: aw..
Of Color Bright: amanda..
viennawaits42: aww....I.bet.you.want.to.save.me
Of Color Bright: you don't have to strain twd anything
Of Color Bright: you just have to be open and let it come to you
viennawaits42: I.bet.I'm.just.the.cutest.most.hopeless.charity.case.you've.ever.had
viennawaits42: and.i.don't.care.about.that.either
Of Color Bright: good
viennawaits42: don't.wanna.be.open
viennawaits42: don't.want.to.care
viennawaits42: caring.hurts
viennawaits42: not.gonna.care
viennawaits42: ever
viennawaits42: can't.make.me
Of Color Bright: pain isn't the worst thing in the world
viennawaits42: can't.change.my.mind
viennawaits42: don't./care
viennawaits42: don't.want.it
viennawaits42: sick.of.it
viennawaits42: done.with.it
viennawaits42: rather.not.care.then.love.some.asshole.who.will.never.love.me.back
viennawaits42: sorry
viennawaits42: no.go
viennawaits42: and.if.I.start.caring.again
viennawaits42: I'll.love.him.again
viennawaits42: and.i.reufse
viennawaits42: and.i.know.thats.what.will.happen
viennawaits42: cause.I've.done.this.before
viennawaits42: remember.that.night.when.he.wanted.me.back...and.it.old.him.I.didn't.love.him
viennawaits42: same.thing
viennawaits42: and.then.he.got.me.caring.again
viennawaits42: and.ruined.everything
Of Color Bright: for you it's either apathy or pain?
viennawaits42: yeah
Of Color Bright: you have no alternatives?
viennawaits42: pretty.mush
Of Color Bright: nothing beneath the pain?
viennawaits42: much
Of Color Bright: nothing after it?
viennawaits42: noo
viennawaits42: no
viennawaits42: there's.no.moving.on
viennawaits42: or.be.happy.without.him
viennawaits42: doesn't.ha[[en
viennawaits42: tried
viennawaits42: didn't.work
viennawaits42: done.trying
viennawaits42: done.caring
viennawaits42: sorry
viennawaits42: never.gonna.happen
viennawaits42: that.is.unless.he.gets.me.to.care.about.him.again
viennawaits42: then.my.life.will.go.back.to.being.a.living.hell
viennawaits42: unless.he.plans.to.care.about.me.again....but.he.won't....even.if.he.wanted.to
viennawaits42: he'd.still.want.to.be.with.you
viennawaits42: and.i.wold.know
viennawaits42: and.it.would.hurt
viennawaits42: and.my.life.would.still.be.hell
Of Color Bright: you wouldn't be happy unless he made the same commitments to you that you would make to him?
viennawaits42: yeah
viennawaits42: and.that....will.never.happen
viennawaits42: ever
viennawaits42: he.wants.to.experience.the.world
viennawaits42: I.just.wanna.settle.down.and.have.kids....and.he.would.be.unhappy
viennawaits42: and.he.would.want.to.be.with.you
viennawaits42: and.I.don't.kknow.why.were.discussing.something.that.will.never.ever.happen
Of Color Bright: :[
viennawaits42: but.it's.alright
viennawaits42: it.doesn't.bother.me
viennawaits42: cause....I.don't.care
viennawaits42: remember?
viennawaits42: so....yeah
viennawaits42: do.what.you.want.with.that.info
viennawaits42: show.it.to.the.whole.goddamn.world
viennawaits42: won't.matter.to.me
viennawaits42: won't.hurt.me
viennawaits42: won't.make.me.happy
Of Color Bright: http://www.lyrics007.com/Frou%20Frou%20Lyrics/Let%20Go%20Lyrics.html
viennawaits42: don't.care
viennawaits42: like.my.bubble.wrap
viennawaits42: sorry
Of Color Bright: http://www.gemini.edu/images/albums/Galaxies/GMOSNGC628.jpg
viennawaits42: hmm....stars.and.shit
viennawaits42: don't.care
viennawaits42: ha....and.you.say.I'm.stubborn
viennawaits42: GIVE.UP
viennawaits42: IT'S.NEVER.GONNA.WORK
viennawaits42: ...
viennawaits42: move.on.to.your.next.charity.case
viennawaits42: you.failed....
viennawaits42: you.lost
viennawaits42: try.again.on.someone.else
Of Color Bright: >_<
viennawaits42: get.your.daily.dose.of."I.changed.the.world.today".from.someone.else
Of Color Bright: you are amazing
viennawaits42: thats.nice....go.on.with.yourlife.now
viennawaits42: I.mean....am.I.right...thats.all.you.want
viennawaits42: is.to.feel.like.you.made.a.difference.in.my.life
Of Color Bright: no
Of Color Bright: my life is so meaningless that i have to find people who are miserable so i can feel like i've made a difference in their life
viennawaits42: is.that.not.just..what.I.said?
Of Color Bright: sarcasm
viennawaits42: ok
viennawaits42: well....then.why.are.you.still.trying?
viennawaits42: it's.not.gonna.make.your.life.better
viennawaits42: it.sure.as.hell.isn't.gonna.change.mine
viennawaits42: so.why.do.you.insist.on.talking.to.me?
Of Color Bright: http://www.livejournal.com/users/hamstaro/219603.html
Of Color Bright: because i want to?
viennawaits42: she's.dead
Of Color Bright: because i care?
viennawaits42: sorry
Of Color Bright: well.. then go ressurrect
viennawaits42: don't.care
viennawaits42: she.felt.things
viennawaits42: and.it.hurt.her
viennawaits42: so.i.killed.her
Of Color Bright: bring her back
viennawaits42: put.that.naive.bitch.out.of.her.msiery
viennawaits42: she.doesn't.want.to.come.back
viennawaits42: she.hated.it.here
Of Color Bright: no
viennawaits42: yes
viennawaits42: she.hated.every.fucking.second.of.her.life...although.she.hid.it.well
viennawaits42: she.hated.it
viennawaits42: with.every.fiber.of.her.being
Of Color Bright: http://thor.info.uaic.ro/~busaco/paint/universe/FutureSpace.jpg
viennawaits42: because.she.knew.that.he.would.never.love.her.the.way.she.needed.him.to
Of Color Bright: amanda..
viennawaits42: and.she.would.never.love.anyone.more.then.she.loved.him
viennawaits42: and.she.hated.it
viennawaits42: and.she.wanted.to.die
viennawaits42: so.i.killed.her
viennawaits42: I.tried.to.love.other.people...not.jsut.Ed....but.Jon.too...and.no.matter.how.nice.they.were.to.me...no.matter.what.they.said.....I.couldn't.love.them
viennawaits42: because.one....they.weren;t.Tim
viennawaits42: and.two
viennawaits42: I.didn't.believe.them
viennawaits42: because....well....every.other.guy.I've.ever.met.lied.to.me
viennawaits42: why.wouldn;t.they?
Of Color Bright: what kind of people do you like?
Of Color Bright: can you make up someone in your mind?
viennawaits42: oh.yeah
viennawaits42: instead.of.being.apathetic....I.can.be.a.schizo
viennawaits42: no.thanks
Of Color Bright: i mean, just to imagine
viennawaits42: the.kinda.guys.I.like.are.a.lot.like.Tim...hopeless.romantics....or.at.least.they.pretend.to.be....but.once.they've.slept.with.me.....they.can.move.on
viennawaits42: thats.what.Ed
viennawaits42: did
viennawaits42: and.thats.kinda.what.Tim.did
Of Color Bright: no
viennawaits42: and....why.should.I.believe.anyone
viennawaits42: yes
viennawaits42: he.kept.coming.back.to.me
viennawaits42: he.kept.on.caring.about.me
viennawaits42: but.once.i.had.slept.with.him.a.couple.of.time
viennawaits42: he.said."theres.nothing.left.for.me.here....i.think.i'll.go.live.with>Symmmetry":
viennawaits42: the.end
viennawaits42: "i'm.sorry.amanda...i.only.feel.close.to.you.when.we.have.sex"
viennawaits42: yeah....thats.what.he.said.to.me
viennawaits42: so....fuck.that
Of Color Bright: i think you're twisting things in your mind
viennawaits42: nope
viennawaits42: I.asked.him.why.we.drifted.apart
viennawaits42: he.said.he.loved.you
viennawaits42: I.asked.him.why.he.still.slept.with.me
viennawaits42: he.said.cause.he.felt.close.to.me.when.he.slept.with.me
viennawaits42: but.....he.never.felt.close.to.me.otherwise
viennawaits42: so.yeah...mayeb.it.wasn't.exactly.word.for.word
viennawaits42: but.i.think.I.got.the.jist.of.it
Of Color Bright: he felt disappointed when you didn't want to go into the lakewood library with him
viennawaits42: ?
Of Color Bright: you were walking in lakewood one day, and he wanted to go into the lakewood library
Of Color Bright: and you didn't
viennawaits42: what?
viennawaits42: what.the.fuck.does.that.have.to.do.with.anything
viennawaits42: i.don't.remember.that
viennawaits42: at.all
Of Color Bright: i know
Of Color Bright: but little moments are important
viennawaits42: littlemoments.that.never.happened.on.the.other.are.not
Of Color Bright: you went to get chocolate milk and donuts, and then you went to traci's house
viennawaits42: what?
viennawaits42: I.remember.that
Of Color Bright: he felt like "how can i be in love with someone who won't walk into a library with me?"
Of Color Bright: it was little to you.. but it was big to him
viennawaits42: what?
viennawaits42: that.never.happened?
viennawaits42: and....you.can't.take.food.in.the.library
viennawaits42: so.even.if.it.had....we.woulda.went.into.the.library....and.then.been.told.to.leave
Of Color Bright: he wanted you to be excited about the same things he was.. like books and music and philosophy
viennawaits42: well....he.knows.how.I.feel.about.books
viennawaits42: tell.him.I'm.sorry.my.scars.are.ugly
Of Color Bright: he felt disappointed when you didn't care about downloading new music
Of Color Bright: when you moved into your dorm
viennawaits42: well....music.is.a.scar.to.me.too
viennawaits42: I.have.a.lot.of.scars.that.he.doesn't.understand
viennawaits42: and.I.don't.want.to.explain.them.to.him
Of Color Bright: i know
viennawaits42: but.Ill.tell.you....my.brother.was.downloading.music.one.day.and.my.dad.found.it.on.the.computer.and.got.mad.cause.it.was.illegal....and.then.he.went.on.a.rampage.and.hit.my.brother....but.he.was.a.good.guy...and.just.hadn't.had.his.cigarette.that.day
viennawaits42: and.I.don't.want.TIm.to.think.my.dad.was.abusive
viennawaits42: cause.he.wasn't
viennawaits42: he.was.just....scarred
viennawaits42: ya.know?
viennawaits42: so.why.don't.you.explain.that.one.to.good.ol.Tim
viennawaits42: I'm.sure.he'll.give.a.shit
viennawaits42: I'm.sure.it'll.change.everything
viennawaits42: I.don't.like.the.same.things.he.does
viennawaits42: cause.those.thngs.were.all.ruined.for.me
viennawaits42: and.philosophy...I.do.like.philosophy
viennawaits42: just.don't.want.to.read.about.it
viennawaits42: of.course.right.now....i.don;t.care.about.it
viennawaits42: but....i.did
viennawaits42: tell.him.I'm.sorrythat.my.pain.isn't.beautiful
viennawaits42: and.that.I'm.not.good.enough.because.my.life.sucked
Of Color Bright: it's not that you're not good enough
Of Color Bright: he just didn't feel connected to you
viennawaits42: well....thats.too.damn.bad.for.him
viennawaits42: because.i.loved.things
viennawaits42: I.loved.reading.
viennawaits42: I.loved.musi
viennawaits42: I.loved.life
viennawaits42: but.I.told.him.in.the.beginning.before.we.were.even.together....that.I.was.scarred
viennawaits42: that.I.had.issues
viennawaits42: and.if.he.had.a.fucking.problem.with.that
viennawaits42: then.he.never.shoulda.lied.about.being.in.love.with.me.in.the.first.place
viennawaits42: but.talking.about.this.doesn't.change.shit
viennawaits42: I.still.don't.care
viennawaits42: I.still.hate.him
viennawaits42: he.still.loves.you
viennawaits42: whatever
viennawaits42: why.are.you.still.talking.to.me?
Of Color Bright: i like you
viennawaits42: thats.nice
viennawaits42: I'm.glad.you.like.a.souless.zombie
viennawaits42: I'm.theres.something.beautiful.and.spiritual.about.that
viennawaits42: in.your.little.world.of.happiness.and.fairies
viennawaits42: but.I.don't.care
Of Color Bright: i don't like that part of you
viennawaits42: well...thats.the.only.parts.thats.left
viennawaits42: so.stop.trying
Of Color Bright: no
viennawaits42: ok....
viennawaits42: then.go.ahead
viennawaits42: waste.your.time
viennawaits42: I';ll.sit.here.and.ignore.you
viennawaits42: that.good.for.you
viennawaits42: goodi
viennawaits42: it's.good.for.me.too
Of Color Bright: http://sweetchillisauce.com/ntales/nPhotos/sesquileg.jpg
viennawaits42: don't.care
viennawaits42: used.to
viennawaits42: don't.anymore
viennawaits42: although...I'd.kinda.like.to.be.him....cause.soon....he'll.be.out.of.this.hell....and.i'll.still.be.here
viennawaits42: staring.at.a.bottle.of.nyquil
viennawaits42: that.i.just.can't.bring.myself.to.conquer
viennawaits42: and.I'm.sure.he'd.like.my.life
viennawaits42: too.bad.we.can't.trade.right?
Of Color Bright: yeah
viennawaits42: yeah
viennawaits42: oh.well
viennawaits42: don't.care
Of Color Bright: http://members.lycos.nl/gitte1965/photoalbum/images/unicorns-water-unicorn-4003947.jpg
viennawaits42: aww....look....fairies.and.happy.bullshit.that.never.existed
viennawaits42: cute
viennawaits42: don't.care
Of Color Bright: http://www.northrup.org/Photos/goat/low/baby-goats-in-bucket%20(5).jpg
viennawaits42: don't.care
Of Color Bright: http://www.oshel.com/images/goat.jpg
viennawaits42: don't
viennawaits42: care
viennawaits42: never
viennawaits42: will
Of Color Bright: http://www.oshel.com/images/goat2.jpg
viennawaits42: look...if.you're.gonna.sending.me.stupid.shit....you're.gonna.get.blocked
Of Color Bright: okay
Of Color Bright: i'll stop
viennawaits42: ok
Of Color Bright: i don't know what to say
viennawaits42: then.stop.talking.to.me
viennawaits42: it's.pretty.easy
viennawaits42: all.you.have.to.do.is.not.put.your.fingers.on.the.keys
viennawaits42: ya.know.what.bothers.me.the.most....that.if.he.would've.stayed....if.he.would've.helped.me.and.been.there.for.me.and.showed.me.that.some.people.are.good.and.some.people.mean.it.when.they.say.they.love.you....someday.i.would've.gotten.better....someday.I.would've.downloaded.music.again.....someday.iw.ould've.loved.reading.again
viennawaits42: but.he.couldn't.wait
viennawaits42: he.fifn't.love.me.that.much
viennawaits42 is away at 3:06:52 AM.
Of Color Bright: :[

Auto response from viennawaits42: Hey Amanda
who just threw your heart away this time?
And when you're crying on your bed does he help keep you alive?

Pin your wings down
if it's all over now
Pin your wings down
just take a chance somehow

I'll take the blame if you take me home now
Cause there's no place left for trust in all this pain
And you know when it rains in this town I get washed away
Without a sound
So pin my wings down

viennawaits42: save.your.sad.faces.for.someone.who.cares
viennawaits42 returned at 3:07:44 AM.
viennawaits42 signed off at 3:07:59 AM.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]